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With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem? v.1

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem? v. 1
Different kind of animals have become in threat and few are even reached to the point of completely vanishing, owing to the forest’s destruction, urbanization and non-regulated hunting. I think their safety is crucial and there are certain option to mitigate this issue. Animal’s protection is quite necessary for the human beings in terms of food. This is because people utilized animal’s meat in their daily living. In almost all the countries in the world, animals such as cows and goats are used to acquire meat from them. Nomadic people in Russia, who live in the north-pole, for instance, solely depend on goats and buffalos for eating purpose. Thus, it is of paramount importance to safe the animal species, so that people could acquire meat for eating. On the other hand, there are certain ways of stopping animals to become extinct. Firstly, deforestation in different countries ought to be discourage. Forests in the country side are usually the living places or homes of many kind of animals; consequently, destruction of those forests in the form of cutting trees means destroying their surrounding’s or living areas. Secondly, the growing speed of urbanization should be restricted, as it is having serious consequences on wild livings. For example, the infrastructure development in the rural areas is enormously resulting in the vanishing of the forests; hence a detrimental outcome on the lives of animals. Therefore, preventing the down fall of forests and not encouraging or supporting urban growth are crucial in stopping animal’s extinction. In conclusion, forest’s destruction, urban development and illegal hunting are the reasons of animal’s disappearance. I believe, there existence is propitious, as humans get their meat for food, and restricting trees cutting and the urbanization are options to cope with this problem.
Different
kind of
animals
have become in threat and few are even reached to the point of completely vanishing, owing to the
forest’s
destruction, urbanization and non-regulated hunting. I
think
their safety is crucial and there are certain option to mitigate this issue.

Animal’s protection is quite necessary for the human beings in terms of food. This is
because
people
utilized
animal’s
meat
in their daily
living
. In almost all the countries in the world,
animals
such as cows and goats are
used
to acquire
meat
from them. Nomadic
people
in Russia, who
live
in the north-pole,
for instance
,
solely
depend on goats and
buffalos
for eating purpose.
Thus
, it is of paramount importance to safe the
animal
species,
so
that
people
could acquire
meat
for eating.

On the other hand
, there are certain ways of stopping
animals
to become extinct.
Firstly
, deforestation in
different
countries ought to be
discourage
.
Forests
in the country side are
usually
the
living
places or homes of
many kind
of
animals
;
consequently
, destruction of those
forests
in the form of cutting trees means destroying their surrounding’s or
living
areas.
Secondly
, the growing speed of urbanization should
be restricted
, as it is having serious consequences on wild
livings
.
For example
, the infrastructure development in the rural areas is
enormously
resulting in the vanishing of the
forests
;
hence
a detrimental outcome on the
lives
of
animals
.
Therefore
, preventing the down fall of
forests
and not encouraging or supporting urban growth are crucial in stopping
animal’s
extinction.

In conclusion
,
forest’s
destruction, urban development and illegal hunting are the reasons of
animal’s
disappearance. I believe, there existence is propitious, as humans
get
their
meat
for food, and restricting trees cutting and the urbanization are options to cope with this problem.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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