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Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree? v.7

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree? v. 7
With ever increasing world population, adverse factors in the form of diseases and environmental threats have now become the real dangers to the health. Awareness about these challenges is the basis for fight against such insults. Academic places have their prime role in preparing the people, well informed about these issues. I support enhancing the primary medical knowledge of the students and in this regard, the schools should take the initiatives. This essay will give an insight into the raised mortality rates of diseases and essence of information in combating the illnesses, as pillars of my views in favour of health teaching. Firstly, there is a tremendous rise in the disease prevalence and their associated mortality. This requires prompt action, including early reporting and detecting of sickness. For an example, in the past, with natives, mostly, being ignorant of the health problems, used to rely on domestic remedies resulting in the disabilities and deaths from potential curable problems. Hence, the well groomed students, equipped with the basic knowledge about the diseases, are expected to do well in readily picking up the sick ones and taking them to the treatment facilities, ultimately, securing the society. Therefore, institutions ought to put more work in teaching heath. Secondly, awareness about lifestyle is another chief component of both the physical and mental well being. For an instance, the countries, where the schools teach health as a basic subject, have seen the dramatic changes in physical activities and the importance given to the diet. With better curriculum, the youth is becoming more conscious about aspects like obesity, adulteration, junk food and caloric estimation and balance. All these steps, consequently result in a healthy community with longer age spans of the dwellers. In conclusion, it looks imperative for the schools to augment their teachings of physical and mental fitness, which could make the societies fit and prosperous.
With
ever increasing
world population, adverse factors in the form of
diseases
and environmental threats have
now
become the real
dangers
to the
health
. Awareness about these challenges is the basis for fight against such insults. Academic places have their prime role in preparing the
people
,
well informed
about these issues. I support enhancing the primary medical knowledge of the students and in this regard, the schools should take the initiatives. This essay will give an insight into the raised mortality rates of
diseases
and essence of information in combating the illnesses, as pillars of my views in
favour
of
health
teaching.

Firstly
, there is a tremendous rise in the
disease
prevalence and their associated mortality. This requires prompt action, including early reporting and detecting of sickness. For an example, in the past, with natives,
mostly
, being ignorant of the
health
problems,
used
to rely on domestic remedies resulting in the disabilities and deaths from potential curable problems.
Hence
, the
well
groomed students, equipped with the basic knowledge about the
diseases
, are
expected
to do
well
in
readily
picking up the sick ones and taking them to the treatment facilities,
ultimately
, securing the society.
Therefore
, institutions ought to put more work in teaching heath.

Secondly
, awareness about lifestyle is another chief component of both the physical and mental
well being
. For an instance, the countries, where the schools teach
health
as a basic subject, have
seen
the dramatic
changes
in physical activities and the importance
given
to the diet. With better curriculum, the youth is becoming more conscious about aspects like obesity, adulteration, junk food and caloric estimation and balance. All these steps,
consequently
result in a healthy community with longer age spans of the dwellers.

In conclusion
, it looks imperative for the schools to augment their teachings of physical and mental fitness, which could
make
the societies fit and prosperous.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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