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Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.5

Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 5
There are opposing views about whether financing on building train and subway lines, traffic jams can be solved or whether the government should build more and wider roads to reduce traffic congestion. While I understand why some people support the former view, I am still in favour of the latter. People who believe that building more train and subway lines can bring some benefits to ease traffic congestion. From their point of view, The nations concentrate on building train and subway lines, which means people increase the chance of using public transport. By doing this, spending a few money for ticket fee, especially them also no pay charge road tolls, fossil fuels. This helps people to save money, prevent air pollution. Another point to be made is citizens can use train, subway instead of private car at rush hour. This prevents them from being stuck in traffic congestion. Nevertheless, I still side with those who believe the nations should build more and wider roads in order to reduce traffic jams. This is due to the fact that the government builds plenty of roads, which increase the likelihood driving private automobiles. By doing this, people have more comfortable seats and provide private space. In addition, if the governments build more and wider roads which are not too costly, they will not bear the financial burden. Therefore, this solution is more realistic. In conclusion, despite acknowledging why people think spending money on building train and subway lines can help people to reduce traffic jams, I hold the belief that the government should build more and wider roads so as to reduce traffic congestion.
There are opposing views about whether financing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams can
be solved
or whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion. While I understand why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support the former view, I am
still
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the latter.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion. From their point of view, The nations concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increase the chance of using public transport. By doing this, spending
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "few money".
a few money
for ticket fee,
especially
them
also
no pay charge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
tolls, fossil fuels. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save money,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
air pollution. Another point to
be made
is citizens can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
instead
of private car at rush hour. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from
being stuck
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion.

Nevertheless
, I
still
side with those who believe the nations should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams.
This is due to the fact that
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
builds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, which increase the likelihood driving private automobiles. By doing this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more comfortable seats and provide private space.
In addition
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
which are not too costly, they will not bear the financial burden.
Therefore
, this solution is more realistic.

In conclusion
, despite acknowledging why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams, I hold the belief that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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