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Employers should give longer holidays to employee to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Employers should give longer holidays to employee to encourage them to do their job well. v. 1
Adequate holidays are essential to the well being of workers. Employers ought to support their employees in their various job roles by providing longer holidays. While some people disagree with this statement, I fully agree because this can enhance work-life balance and promote employee satisfaction in the company. To begin with, providing employees with extended holidays can immensely improve their work-life balance, especially when they utilize this by spending time with friends, families and loved ones. This can be an added benefit to spur a good working culture and positive environment. Furthermore, giving workers the advantage of longer rest can enable them to focus on their hobbies. Most times, employees are so engrossed with work that they forget other activities that gives them pleasure. This should be the employer’s way of motivating their employees to get their work-life balance right. In Germany, for instance, 75% of the employees go on extensive paid rest annually, which has proven to have improved work-life balance as stated in the employee net promoter score. Subsequently, when employers give their workers prolonged holidays, this is a sign that they put the welfare of their workers first. This further proves that they want their workers to be satisfied and happy with their jobs. It is without doubt that employee satisfaction is one of the most important aspects in companies today. When employees are satisfied, they are motivated to put in more effort in their job duties and work with determination. This gives the company a good outlook, and employers can begin to see the positive effects. In 2016, Apple created a survey for their employees that shook the world. They wanted to prove that employee satisfaction wasn’t just about salaries, but about the extended rest they are given every month. Conclusively, employers have what it takes to encourage and motivate their staffs. They must ensure their workers are given enough time to rest so that they can have a balance in their work-life and improve their job satisfaction.
Adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
are essential to the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of
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workers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employers
ought to support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in their various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
roles by providing longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
disagree with this statement, I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this can enhance work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
and promote
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employee
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satisfaction
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, providing
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employees
with extended
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holidays
can
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their work-life
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balance
,
especially
when they utilize this by spending time with friends, families and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. This can be an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
benefit to spur a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
working culture and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
environment.
Furthermore
, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
the advantage of longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
can enable them to focus on their hobbies. Most times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
engrossed with work that they forget other activities that gives them pleasure. This should be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer’s
way of motivating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
right. In Germany,
for instance
, 75% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
go on extensive paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
annually
, which has proven to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
as stated in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
net promoter score.

Subsequently
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
prolonged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
, this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
that they put the welfare of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
first
. This
further
proves that they want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to
be satisfied
and happy with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. It is without doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are satisfied
, they
are motivated
to put in more effort in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
duties and work with determination. This gives the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
outlook, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects. In 2016, Apple created a survey for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
that shook the world. They wanted to prove that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
wasn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about salaries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
about the extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
every month.

Conclusively
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
have what it takes to encourage and motivate their staffs. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
in their work-life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Employers should give longer holidays to employee to encourage them to do their job well. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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