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Education should be accessible to people of all economic background. All level of education from primary school to tertiary education should be free. To what extent do you agree with this opinion. v.1

Education should be accessible to people of all economic background. All level of education from primary school to tertiary education should be free. v. 1
Children are the backbone of the society and education should be available to them irrespective of their financial capabilities. Some believe that education to the level of University should be made free of cost. I partially agree with this thought and I believe that the authorities should definitely sponsor primary and secondary schooling, but not tertiary education. Access to basic studies should not be determined by one's monetary background. This is because, every child, independent of how much his parents earn, has a right to education in order to make himself self-sufficient in the future. The child of a street vendor, for instance, need not worry about the expense of availing basic knowledge and qualification and should be able to compete at par with others of his age at maturity. Thus, it is essential that the government provide for basic schooling for each and everyone and evoke a sense of equality amongst the citizens. Having said that, it may be a difficult task for the government to take up this responsibility beyond secondary schooling. A lot of fund allocation towards education sector may be required if even tertiary schooling fee is completely waived off. Besides, children coming from well-off families may also take advantage of such benefits, depleting government's resources. However, special scholarship programs or subsidies could be planned for the poor and needy in such situations. To sum up, it would be helpful for the downtrodden, if education to the level of professional qualification is subsidised. In conclusion, children coming from all strata of society deserve to be educated upto secondary schooling without worrying about expenses. However, beyond that government support may be extended only to a select few based on their needs.
Children are the backbone of the society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be available to them irrespective of their financial capabilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to the level of University should
be made
free of cost. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and I believe that the authorities should definitely sponsor primary and secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not tertiary education.

Access to basic studies should not
be determined
by one's monetary background. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, every child, independent of how much his parents earn, has a right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
himself self-sufficient in the future. The child of a street vendor,
for instance
, need not worry about the expense of availing basic knowledge and qualification and should be able to compete at par with others of his age at maturity.
Thus
, it is essential that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provide for basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
for each and
Did you mean "every one"?
everyone
and evoke a sense of equality amongst the citizens.

Having said that, it may be a difficult task for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to take up this responsibility beyond secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
fund allocation towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector may
be required
if even tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
fee is completely
Did you mean "waved off"?
waived off
.
Besides
, children coming from well-off families may
also
take advantage of such benefits, depleting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's resources.
However
, special scholarship programs or subsidies could
be planned
for the poor and needy in such situations. To sum up, it would be helpful for the downtrodden, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to the level of professional qualification is
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidised' is British English.
subsidised
.

In conclusion
, children coming from all strata of society deserve to
be educated
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
without worrying about expenses.
However
, beyond that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
support may
be extended
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to a select few based on their needs.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Education should be accessible to people of all economic background. All level of education from primary school to tertiary education should be free. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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