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you can not go to a company where you got an offer. write a letter to the hr supervisor toexplain the reason why you decline the offerexpress your gratitudeexplain that you like your current job very much v.1

you can not go to a company where you got an offer. write a letter to the hr supervisor toexplain the reason why you decline the offerexpress your gratitudeexplain that you like your current job very much v. 1
With the industrialization, inhabitants are able to easily assess a variety of cooked food or well-prepared ingredients from supermarkets or food stores. Some citizens believe that this kind of service improves the standard of daily lives. I personally opine this view and the essay will discuss about it with examples. To begin with, in the contemporary era, inhabitants are able to spend less time in preparing their daily meals due to the conveniently packaged ingredients on the markets or food stores. For instance, in the past, preparing ingredients during cooking occupied much time. As a result,  people with hectic work schedules tended to eat outside or preferred canned food. However, currently with the conveniently-packed meats or vegetables, they are still able to cook nutrient food for their family in a limited period. Besides this, people also have more time for personal relaxation, social interaction, family play time, travelling, and sports activities etc. Their lives will become more colourful. In addition, residents remain keeping cleaner living environments in their places due to well-packaged ingredients for homemade meals. In the past, without meal processing factories or stores, the inhabitants had to prepare their ingredients in their own places. Eventually, during the process, the smelling of meats or wastes from meats leaded to dirty living environments. Currently, these food packages eliminate this issue. Therefore, residents are still able to maintain a clean living environment or a high living standard even though they frequently cook at home. In conclusion, due to easy access to well-prepared ingredients on supermarkets or food stores, people tend to cook more healthy food and lead a better lifestyle. They definitely enjoy their daily lives by themselves or with their family members due to above reasons.
With the industrialization, inhabitants are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
easily
assess a variety of cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or well-prepared ingredients from supermarkets or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
citizens believe that this kind of service
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the standard of daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I
personally
opine this view and the essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss it"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about it
with examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in the contemporary era, inhabitants are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to spend less time in preparing their daily meals due to the
conveniently
packaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ingredients
on the markets or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
For instance
, in the past, preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ingredients
during cooking occupied much time.
As a result
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with hectic work schedules tended to eat outside or preferred canned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
However
,
currently
with the
conveniently
-packed meats or vegetables, they are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to cook nutrient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for their family in a limited period.
Besides
this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
have more time for personal relaxation, social interaction, family play time, travelling, and sports activities etc. Their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
will become more
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
.

In addition
, residents remain keeping cleaner living environments in their places due to well-packaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ingredients
for homemade meals. In the past, without meal processing factories or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, the inhabitants had to prepare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ingredients
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
places.
Eventually
, during the process, the smelling of meats or wastes from meats leaded to dirty living environments.
Currently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
packages eliminate this issue.
Therefore
, residents are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to maintain a clean living environment or a high living standard
even though
they
frequently
cook at home.

In conclusion
, due to easy access to well-prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ingredients
on supermarkets or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to cook more healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and lead a better lifestyle. They definitely enjoy their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by themselves or with their family members due to above reasons.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay you can not go to a company where you got an offer. write a letter to the hr supervisor toexplain the reason why you decline the offerexpress your gratitudeexplain that you like your current job very much v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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