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Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone online games and social networking Web site Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.3

Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone online games and social networking Web site Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 3
Education plays a vital role in kid' s formation from children to adults. Some people support the fact that it is more an arduous task to teach kids today than years ago. However, In my view, networking web site and computers improve children' s education. First, social networking develops some skills in kids. Enhancing social skills helps individuals to have better human interaction. Some children are more tend to speak with other through chats. Thus, they develop good communication skills even with an online chat game. For example, most of the game for teenagers requires communicating with others. They have to speak into a microphone in order to talk to others. Hence, they gain more vocabulary than in the school. Moreover, kids have to work in order to complete a mission or part of the game. Therefore, they also develop team working skills. For instance, in the Mario bros game a child has to work in teams to finish the assignment. If they work by themselves, they could not keep playing. By fostering communication and teamwork, networking video games are teaching kids unconsciously. We have never seen something similar in the past, and thus it is much easier to educate children nowadays. In addition to developing social and team working skills, networking websites also offers an alternative way to improve knowledge. Today, we find different information and sources of information online, such as the online encyclopedia. This source is extremely convenient when finishing homework. In fact, schools rely more in computerized assignment than in the traditional text book to teach kids. Not only is for kids more entertainment, but also it is more effective. The data obtained from online are more diverse, so they prefer to study through computers. Therefore, education by online data encourages millions of kids to study. For example, although I am not a kid anymore, I am still learning English, so I prefer to use games in order to acquire new knowledge. I rely on games to make my study more interesting and engaging. The king of games, such as Scrabble enables me to learn more information in an effective way. I never get tired of it. These kind of online games were not available in the past. To sum up, even though people may say in the past it was easier to educate children, I do believe the online resources help to develop children' s mind better. First, games aid kids to improve some social and team working skills. Also, they acquire more knowledge on online network that ever before. If I had to choose to live in a generation when I was a kid, I would want to live in this era due to technological advances. It is easier to learn, and also more amusing.
Education plays a vital role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
kid&
#039; s formation from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to adults.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support the fact that it is
Did you mean "a more arduous"?
more an arduous
task to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
than years ago.
However
, In my view, networking
Did you mean "website"?
web site
and computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s education.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. Enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
individuals to have better human interaction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more tend to speak with other through chats.
Thus
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
even with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
chat game.
For example
, most of the game for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
requires communicating with others. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
speak into a microphone in order to talk to others.
Hence
, they gain more vocabulary than in the school.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work in order to complete a mission or part of the game.
Therefore
, they
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For instance
, in the Mario bros game a child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
to finish the assignment. If they work by themselves, they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
playing. By fostering communication and teamwork, networking video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
unconsciously
. We have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
something similar in the past, and
thus
it is much easier to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays.

In addition
to developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, networking websites
also
offers an alternative way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
knowledge.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, we find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
information and sources of information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedia. This source is
extremely
convenient when finishing homework. In fact, schools
The verb 'to rely' requires the preposition '(up)on': "rely on".
rely
more in computerized assignment than in the traditional text book to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
more entertainment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is more effective. The data obtained from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
are more diverse,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they prefer to study through computers.
Therefore
, education by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
data encourages millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to study.
For example
, although I am not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
anymore, I am
still
learning English,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in order to acquire new knowledge. I rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my study more interesting and engaging. The king of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, such as Scrabble enables me to learn more information
Consider replacing "in an effective way" with the adverb for "effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an effective way
. I never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired of it.
Did you mean "this kind" or "These kinds"?
These kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were not available in the past.

To sum up,
even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may say in the past it was easier to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I do believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s mind better.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Also
, they acquire more knowledge on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
network that ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. If I had to choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a generation when I was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
, I would want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this era due to technological advances. It is easier to learn, and
also
more amusing.
23Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone online games and social networking Web site Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
461 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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