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Economic progress is one way to measure a country’s success. What other factors do you think should be concerned when measuring the success of a country? In these factors, which one is the most important? v.5

Economic progress is one way to measure a country’s success. What other factors do you think should be concerned when measuring the success of a country? In these factors, which one is the most important? v. 5
Education, in general, has been regarded to be the crux for the foundation of sound social and economic growth of society. Every student dreams of pursuing higher studies in the field of his liking, at a university, but the opportunity available is not the same for all of them. I strongly disagree with the notion that admission in a university is difficult for both rich and poor. Firstly, the majority of the educational institution requires one to fill up an application form and sit for an entrance exam. In addition to, the entrance exam is not a universal exam and one has to fill multiple application forms and sit for multiple entrance exams before getting admission to the same course outline in various universities. These exams are highly competitive which pushes a lot of students to disadvantage who cannot afford to apply at multiple places. Secondly, all these exams being highly competitive require one to plan and execute the plan by appearing in various mock test guided by an experienced teacher in the field. Poor students and especially ones' who are supporting their family financially by doing odd jobs find themselves in a difficult situation, as they cannot spare the required number of hours to prepare for the same. A rich candidate, under the solace of proper guidance from the teacher in his tuition class, is in a better trade-off situation for the exams. In conclusion, in consideration of the reasons mentioned above, I strongly feel a poor student has more difficulty in getting an academy admission as compared to a rich student in a similar scenario.
Education,
in general
, has
been regarded
to be the crux for the foundation of sound social and economic growth of society. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
dreams of pursuing higher studies in the field of his liking, at a university,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the opportunity available is not the same for all of them. I
strongly
disagree with the notion that admission in a university is difficult for both rich and poor.

Firstly
, the majority of the educational institution requires one to fill up an application form and sit for an entrance exam.
In addition
to, the entrance exam is not a universal exam and one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
fill multiple application forms and sit for multiple entrance exams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting admission to the same course outline in various universities. These exams are
highly
competitive which pushes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to disadvantage who cannot afford to apply at multiple places.

Secondly
, all these exams being
highly
competitive require one to plan and execute the plan by appearing in various mock
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
guided by an experienced teacher in the field. Poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
especially
ones' who are supporting their family
financially
by doing odd jobs find themselves in a difficult situation, as they cannot spare the required number of hours to prepare for the same. A rich candidate, under the solace of proper guidance from the teacher in his tuition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, is in a better trade-off situation for the exams.

In conclusion
, in consideration of the reasons mentioned above, I
strongly
feel a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has more difficulty in getting an academy admission as compared to a rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in a similar scenario.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Economic progress is one way to measure a country’s success. What other factors do you think should be concerned when measuring the success of a country? In these factors, which one is the most important? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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