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Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. Do you agree or disagree? What other factors do you think should be v.4

Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. What other factors do you think should be v. 4
A successful country is usually associated with developed country, having economic strength with the great national income. Even though it is true that economic progress will affect the improvement of a state, I firmly believe this factor is not the only thing to be considered as parameters of a successful country. It is obvious that economic growth is one indicator which is considered to assess the success of a nation because without adequate economic condition, the government of the state will not be able to manage and run its programs well and citizens will suffer. However, that factor will be meaningless if it is not supported by the other aspects such as education and health. For instance, Brazil, having good economic growth in the last century, is still struggling with the low rate of education and health care of its citizens, particularly in the northern region. This eventually means that the inhabitants in the northern part of Brazil are still poor and the government has not fully succeeded to prosper its people. Furthermore, a wealthy nation like Brazil still has a problem with the morality of its residents, reflected on the high crime rate in the country which will potentially endanger the national stability of Brazil. This means that the government has failed to educate its citizens. Therefore, morality should be taken into account as another factor to obtain success by the nation. In a nutshell, other than economic prosperity, there are the other indicators that should be considered in order to be a successful country such as education, health, and morality. However, personally, I put economic factor as the most important one because important aspects to improve the other factors (education, health, and morality) cannot be achieved well if a good economic condition of the nation has not been achieved yet.
A successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
usually
associated with developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
strength with the great national income.
Even though
it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress will affect the improvement of a state, I
firmly
believe this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing to
be considered
as parameters of a successful country.

It is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth is one indicator which
is considered
to assess the success of a nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
condition, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the state will not be able to manage and run its programs well and citizens will suffer.
However
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
will be meaningless if it is not supported by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, Brazil, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth in the last century, is
still
struggling with the low rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care of its citizens,
particularly
in the northern region. This
eventually
means that the inhabitants in the northern part of Brazil are
still
poor and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has not
fully
succeeded to prosper its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Furthermore
, a wealthy nation like Brazil
still
has a problem with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morality
of its residents, reflected on the high crime rate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which will
potentially
endanger the national stability of Brazil. This means that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has failed to educate its citizens.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morality
should
be taken
into account as another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to obtain success by the nation.

In a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
prosperity, there are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
indicators that should
be considered
in order to be a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morality
.
However
,
personally
, I put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
as the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morality)
cannot
be achieved
well if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
condition of the nation has not
been achieved
yet
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Economic progress is one factor that is being considered to measure the success of a country, but there are other factors that should be considered when measuring the success of a country. What other factors do you think should be v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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