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Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individuals responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views a v.8

Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individuals responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. 8
On comparing today’s and past scenario of activeness it has been observed that earlier people were used to be healthier than they are nowadays. The subsequent paragraphs will examine the major problems concerned with this phenomenon and the viable solutions associated with it. The first and the foremost problem caused by this situation is the obesity in people. Individuals are not doing any physical work, as they are now machine oriented. Most of the working people are not getting time for exercises due to their hectic schedule. Youngsters who are doing jobs or studies in the places far from their hometowns prefer ordering food through online food stores. Overweight is the major concern and consumption of fast food every day brings adverse effects on health. For instance, in a recent survey of 2019, consumption of fast food was about 90% which were less than 20% in 2016. Also, the demand of online food is significantly increasing due to their attractive discount vouchers and offers. There are numerous solutions to deteriorate these problems. The major solution could be if people devote one hour daily from their busy schedule for exercises either by joining a gym, sports club or simply could go for a walk. The government should start free yoga campaigns in various places such as offices, societies which will help people in enhancing their physical growth and fitness. To recapitulate, people need to balance their life with their health. Because health comes first and if it is not seriously taken, then It can lead to various health problems.
On comparing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s and past scenario of activeness it has
been observed
that earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be healthier than they are nowadays. The subsequent paragraphs will examine the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
concerned with this phenomenon and the viable solutions associated with it.

The
first
and the foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
caused by this situation is the obesity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Individuals are not doing any physical work, as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
machine oriented. Most of the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not getting time for exercises due to their hectic schedule. Youngsters who are doing jobs or studies in the places far from their hometowns prefer ordering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
through online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
stores. Overweight is the major concern and consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
every day brings adverse effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, in a recent survey of 2019, consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
was about 90% which were less than 20% in 2016.
Also
, the demand of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
significantly
increasing due to their attractive discount vouchers and offers.

There are numerous solutions to deteriorate these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The major solution could be if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
devote one hour daily from their busy schedule for exercises either by joining a gym, sports club or
simply
could go for a walk. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
free yoga campaigns in various places such as offices, societies which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in enhancing their physical growth and fitness.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to balance their life with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
first
and if it is not
seriously
taken, then It can lead to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individuals responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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