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Eating is a balance diet is a most important factor for healthy life. To what extent do you agree or disgree. v.1

Eating is a balance diet is a most important factor for healthy life. v. 1
In recent times, globalization of the world has made it easy for people to travel overseas for different reasons. Due to the lucrative nature of the medical profession in developed countries, health care workers from developing nations relocate to these countries. This essay will discuss the main problems that can emanate from this situation, including poor health indices and an increase in quackery. This essay will also suggest solutions to these problems, including making their job attractive and legislation against illegal medical practice by untrained workers. An Increase in the number of sick people and fake doctors or nurses is as a result of this mass exodus of health providers. When there's a deficiency of them, so many ill persons are untreated, leading to a rise in the number of deaths from diseases, thereby worsening an already poor health statistics. For instance, a research showed an increase in maternal mortality by ten percent, which corresponded to a ten percent rise in medical professionals that moved to the UK in the same year. Furthermore, this situation creates an avenue for the proliferation of quacks to fill in for the spaces created by the doctors, hence endangering the lives of citizens. For example, reports showed that 40 quacks were apprehended last year, which was the highest in the past decade. For these reasons, relocation of providers of health care has caused more difficulties for third world nations However, there are measures to tackle these problems, including making the jobs of these medical professionals profitable and legislation against the unlicensed practice of medicine. Government and stakeholders should make the medical profession attractive by encouraging and motivating its workers through an increment in salaries and allowances. In Zambia, for instance, when the wages of health providers were increased, health statistics showed a decline in medically related deaths. In addition, implementation of laws that will fight against the unqualified medical practitioners will go a long way to discourage people from the act. In China, for example, quackery of any form attracts 3 years imprisonment. Overall, these solutions will mitigate the number of fatalities in the country. In conclusion, people commonly cross borders these days in search of greener pastures. Health care workers from poorer countries move to the western nation for better pay. This essay discussed the challenges arising from this situation, including a decline in health statistics and a rise in the number of quacks. This essay also suggested solutions, including making medical Jobs lucrative and implementing laws that discourages the unqualified medical practice
In recent times, globalization of the world has made it easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel overseas for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons. Due to the lucrative nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
profession in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care workers from developing nations relocate to these countries. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss the main problems that can emanate from this situation, including poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
indices and an increase in quackery. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
suggest solutions to these problems, including making their job attractive and legislation against illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
practice by untrained workers.

An Increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and fake doctors or nurses is
as a result
of this mass exodus of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
providers. When there's a deficiency of them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ill persons
are untreated
, leading to a rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of deaths from diseases, thereby worsening an already poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
statistics.
For instance
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an increase in maternal mortality by ten percent, which corresponded to a ten percent rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
professionals that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the UK in the same year.
Furthermore
, this situation creates an avenue for the proliferation of quacks to fill in for the spaces created by the doctors,
hence
endangering the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of citizens.
For example
, reports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 40 quacks
were apprehended
last year, which was the highest in the past decade. For these reasons, relocation of providers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care has caused more difficulties for third world
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
nations


However
, there are measures to tackle these problems, including making the jobs of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
professionals profitable and legislation against the unlicensed practice of medicine.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and stakeholders should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
profession attractive by encouraging and motivating its workers through an increment in salaries and allowances. In Zambia,
for instance
, when the wages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
providers
were increased
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a decline in
medically
related deaths.
In addition
, implementation of laws that will fight against the unqualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
practitioners will go a long way to discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the act.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
China,
for example
, quackery of any form attracts 3 years imprisonment.
Overall
, these solutions will mitigate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of fatalities in the country.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commonly
cross borders these days in search of greener pastures.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
care workers from poorer countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the western nation for better pay. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed the challenges arising from this situation, including a decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
statistics and a rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of quacks. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
suggested solutions, including making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
Jobs lucrative and implementing laws that discourages the unqualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
practice
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Eating is a balance diet is a most important factor for healthy life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
419 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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