Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some People Think That Allowing Children To Make Their Own Choices Is Likely To Result In A Society Of Individuals Who Only Think About Their Own Wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

When it comes to allowing children to make their own decisions, some say that children should not be free in choosing what they want because it may cause narcissism. However, others think it would benefit children if they are able to make their own choices. Some people claim that parents giving their children freedom to make decisions can lead them to becoming selfish members of society. Since young children have a limited cognitive ability, it could be hard for them to take others’ needs into account while deciding even on regular matters. For example, when a child is allowed to choose to do karaoke in home to entertain his/herself, he/she may not be able to understand how much it can bother the family members. Therefore, the more the children are free to decide their daily routine, the more they get accustomed to neglecting others’ desires which may make them self-centered. On the other hand, letting a child make personal decisions can add many positive traits to their personality. When we encourage children to choose what they like, they understand how important their opinion is, resulting in a higher self-esteem and self-confidence as they grow up. Experiencing the decision-making process not only can shape a positive self-image, but it also strengthens the sense of responsibility in children. As they decide on their own, they become aware of the consequences their decisions cause, so they learn to accept the outcome. This helps them become more responsible citizens. In conclusion, some are concerned about turning their children into careless people who always put their satisfaction first by giving them free will in decision-making. I agree with those who believe if we let young children decide, it develops their personality positively.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not be free in choosing what they want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may cause narcissism.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if they are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that parents giving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
can lead them to becoming selfish members of society. Since young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a limited cognitive ability, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to take others’ needs into account while deciding even on regular matters.
For example
, when a child is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to choose to do karaoke in home to entertain his/herself, he/she may not be able to understand how much it can bother the family members.
Therefore
, the more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are free to decide their daily routine, the more they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accustomed to neglecting others’ desires which may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them self-centered.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, letting a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
traits to their personality. When we encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to choose what they like, they understand how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
their opinion is, resulting in a higher self-esteem and self-confidence as they grow up. Experiencing the decision-making process not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can shape a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
self-image,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
strengthens the sense of responsibility in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As they decide on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, they become aware of the consequences their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
cause,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they learn to accept the outcome. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them become more responsible citizens.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are concerned
about turning their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
into careless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who always put their satisfaction
first
by giving them free will in decision-making. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who believe if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
decide, it develops their personality
positively
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts