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Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 274 v.30

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 274 v. 30
In recent decades, many researchers have studied the importance of performing a fun activity with a kid. Indeed, to my mind, there is now convincing evidence that participating in an enjoyable activity with a child is able to enhance better skills and more creativity than reading. In this essay, I shall examine how research in permanent learning and looking from a child’s perspective on cases supports this view. To begin with, permanent learning is being completed better while using all human senses with a kid by playing a game. This is because an adult can easily to be focused on activity in order to give their best try to attract kids’ attention on the game due to the natural human being. For example, a recent, Cambridge study showed that individuals who are using their senses on any cases are able to develop their creativity and learning abilities better than doing a simple reading activity. Therefore, it is certainly the case that doing an enjoyable activity with a child is a good option to extend personal skills and creativity. Secondly, looking from a child’s perspective on cases enables individuals to improve their concentration and recognition abilities. This is because individuals need to track a child’s attitudes and thinking-ways carefully so as to improve their communication and thinking-ways abilities. For instance, a study by Oxford found that individuals who play a game with a child are more successful to figure out the details in a job environment. Thus, it is clearly a case that analysing attitudes and views can teach new technics and improve skills. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the notion that performing an enjoyable activity with a kid enables to develop better skills and more creativity than reading. In the future, we will certainly see that we will need to ask a child’s opinion before taking any decision on any cases to be more confident.
In recent decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researchers have studied the importance of performing a fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
.
Indeed
, to my mind, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
convincing evidence that participating in an enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is able to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and more creativity than reading. In this essay, I shall examine how research in permanent learning and looking from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
perspective on cases supports this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, permanent learning is
being completed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
while using all human senses with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
by playing a game. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
an adult can
easily
to
be focused
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in order to give their best try to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids’
attention on the game due to the natural human being.
For example
, a recent, Cambridge study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who are using their senses on any cases are able to develop their creativity and learning abilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than doing a simple reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
Therefore
, it is
certainly
the case that doing an enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option to extend personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and creativity.

Secondly
, looking from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
perspective on cases enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their concentration and recognition abilities. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
attitudes and thinking-ways
carefully
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their communication and thinking-ways abilities.
For instance
, a study by Oxford found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who play a game with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
are more successful to figure out the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
in a job environment.
Thus
, it is
clearly
a case that
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
attitudes and views can teach new
Possible spelling mistake found.
technics
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that performing an enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
enables to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and more creativity than reading. In the future, we will
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that we will need to ask a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking any decision on any cases to be more confident.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. v. 274 v. 30

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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