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Do you think that advertising encourages people to buy things that they don’t want? v.1

Do you think that advertising encourages people to buy things that they don’t want? v. 1
In the era of globalization, advertising plays a major role in the competitive business world. Many industries capitalize on the power of advertising to attract or to win customers away from their business rivals. The impact of advertising is so huge that it causes many people to purchase things that they do not want initially. Many people do not realize that while advertising encourages people to purchase things they do not want to by conveying misleading ideas and being negatively influential on their decisions, it still provides the avenue for people to choose wisely in their life. Firstly, advertising encourages people to buy thing they don’t want to through misleading ideas. Advertising is proven to be a successful tool to highlight the features of their product to the public even though the product is deemed undesirable such as cigarettes, drugs, alcohol and so on. For example, Dunhill, a cigarette company which sponsors many football teams, seems to be promoting cigarettes to the public. Without the sponsorship, the company will be less known to the public, resulting in less sale of cigarettes. However, many people smoke nowadays because they are influenced by the successful advertising even though smoking is bad for health. Besides that, advertising has a large impact on the decisions made by the people in their everyday life. Many businesses use advertising as a form of promotion to create awareness about their product in the market. A new product needs extensive advertising to penetrate into the market, while existing products require advertising to increase the consumption. For instance, in a fast food industry, the introduction of a new flavour of burger needs advertising to reach the public while the other burgers require advertising to increase consumption. Children, especially, are easily influence by the advertisement and will have the desire to dine at fast food restaurants after that. Although fast food is bad for health, it has successfully become appealing to the public through successful tactics in advertising. However, advertising encourages people to make the right choices while purchasing things that are essential in their daily live. Advertising plays a part in helping consumers to compare a product in terms of price, quality, reliability and so on. Without advertising, it will be very difficult for consumers to judge the worthiness of a product. For example, advertisements initiated by various companies have given the consumers the opportunity to choose wisely when purchasing an item. Without the power of advertising, consumers will be stuck to a brand which may not offer the best option. In conclusion, even though advertising have influenced people to buy things that they don’t want by providing misleading ideas and influence people into making wrong decisions, advertising has done people a favour too by helping consumers to choose wisely. Therefore, I agree that advertising causes consumers to buy things they don’t want to but moderation is the key when it comes to choosing the right advertisement.
In the era of globalization, advertising plays a major role in the competitive business world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
industries capitalize on the power of advertising to attract or to win customers away from their business rivals. The impact of advertising is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
huge that it causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things that they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
initially
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not realize that while advertising encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to by conveying misleading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and being
negatively
influential on their decisions, it
still
provides the avenue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose
wisely
in their life.

Firstly
, advertising encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
thing they don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to through misleading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Advertising
is proven
to be a successful tool to highlight the features of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is deemed
undesirable such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
, drugs, alcohol and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dunhill
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which sponsors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
football teams, seems to be promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. Without the sponsorship, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will be less known to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
, resulting in less sale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
smoke nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are influenced
by the successful advertising
even though
smoking is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for health.

Besides
that, advertising has a large impact on the decisions made by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their everyday life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
businesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
advertising as a form of promotion to create awareness about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the market. A new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
needs extensive advertising to penetrate into the market, while existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
require advertising to increase the consumption.
For instance
, in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food industry, the introduction of a new
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
of burger needs advertising to reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
while the other burgers require advertising to increase consumption. Children,
especially
, are
easily
Consider using a past participle here: "influenced".
influence
by the advertisement and will have the desire to dine at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food restaurants after that. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for health, it has
successfully
become appealing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
through successful tactics in advertising.

However
, advertising encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right choices while purchasing things that are essential in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Advertising plays a part in helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
to compare a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in terms of price, quality, reliability and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Without advertising, it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
to judge the worthiness of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For example
, advertisements initiated by various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
the opportunity to choose
wisely
when purchasing an item. Without the power of advertising,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
will
be stuck
to a brand which may not offer the best option.

In conclusion
,
even though
advertising have influenced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things that they don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
by providing misleading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decisions, advertising has done
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
too by helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
to choose
wisely
.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that advertising causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things they don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
moderation is the key when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to choosing the right advertisement.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think that advertising encourages people to buy things that they don’t want? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
488 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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