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What do you think makes someone a good friend to a whole family? Do you think we meet different kinds of friends at different stages of our lives? In what ways are these types of friend different? How easy is it to make friends with people from a different v.1

What do you think makes someone a good friend to a whole family? Do you think we meet different kinds of friends at different stages of our lives? In what ways are these types of friend different? How easy is it to make friends with people from a different v. 1
It is irrefutable that people of today's time are less active than the people of old times. There are many reasons for it, like the current lifestyles, food habits and much more. In further paragraph, I intend to discuss my reasons and give my review regarding it. First and foremost, the most predominant reason behind such situation is the person is consumed by this materialistic world, which made them workaholic, which leads to increase in stress and constant pressure. As a result it affects the health of an individual. In the past people worked for living not for showing. The second reason is the kind of food people are consuming nowadays. Young generation tends to eat more junk food and unhealthy foodstuff. Moreover, to compete with this fast paced life they don't follow a timetable for the meal, which leads to loss of energy and lack of concentration in work. On the other hand, old generation people used to eat staple meals like fresh vegetables, fruits, etc. and follow their timetable. On the contrary, many different things can be done to overcome such problem. Even people are now experiencing the change due to their current lifestyles. New generations are converting into healthy eaters. In addition, daily exercise should be done to remain fit and active in the workplace. For instance, reduce amount of sitting in a chair, rather go for a walk whenever you get a break. Avoid drinking beverages in free time. Follow the healthy meal with minimal amount of oil to protect from deadly diseases like obesity, stomach cancer, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases. Prefer walk and talk method to reduce less time talking and sitting. To sum up, remaining fit and active in life is very important. Although in the old times people had to do things by their own and had to work harder than present times, but then also due to their lifestyle, surroundings they remained healthier and fit. In current duration people had benefits of machine then also they are more stressed and live unhealthy lives.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are less active than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for it, like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lifestyles, food habits and much more. In
further
paragraph, I intend to discuss my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and give my review regarding it.

First
and foremost, the most predominant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind such situation is the person
is consumed
by this materialistic world, which made them workaholic, which leads to increase in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and constant pressure.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result it affects the health of an individual. In the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worked for living not for showing. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the kind of food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are consuming nowadays. Young generation tends to eat more junk food and unhealthy foodstuff.
Moreover
, to compete with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced life they don't follow a timetable for the meal, which leads to loss of energy and lack of concentration in work.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to eat staple meals like fresh vegetables, fruits, etc. and follow their timetable.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things can
be done
to overcome such problem. Even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
experiencing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
due to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lifestyles. New generations are converting into healthy eaters.
In addition
, daily exercise should
be done
to remain fit and active in the workplace.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
amount of sitting in a chair,
rather
go for a walk whenever you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a break. Avoid drinking beverages in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Follow the healthy meal with minimal amount of oil to protect from deadly diseases like obesity, stomach cancer, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases. Prefer walk and talk method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
talking and sitting.

To sum up, remaining fit and active in life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Although in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to do things by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and had to work harder than present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then
also
due to their lifestyle, surroundings they remained healthier and fit. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
duration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had benefits of machine then
also
they are more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
unhealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay What do you think makes someone a good friend to a whole family? Do you think we meet different kinds of friends at different stages of our lives? In what ways are these types of friend different? How easy is it to make friends with people from a different v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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