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Describe a beautiful work of art that you have seen. You should say: - what it is- where and when you saw it- how you would describe it- and explain what makes it impressive. v.1

Describe a beautiful work of art that you have seen. You should say: - what it is- where and when you saw it- how you would describe it- and explain what makes it impressive. v. 1
Everyone has the right to education. When it comes to higher studies only a few will go for it. Some people say that those with financially sound students can get college admissions easily, whereas some people believes that it depends on the ability to study. In my opinion, those who are highly talented and ability can access the academy without any difficulties. Nowadays, it is true that to get admission in colleges is difficult. The foremost reason behind this is most of all, students applying for it are well talented, so the cutoff mark will higher. Therefore, people are ready to pay massive amount a fee to get a seat for higher education. For instance, some people go for management and NRI quotas with large amount of payment as admission fee. So to some extend those are financially sound can access the university easily than those do not have. However, the students those are highly talented will get the opportunity for graduation or higher level is comparatively higher than those mentioned above. This is because the criteria for selecting pupils depends on the entrance exam. For example, entrance test like medical entrance, marks and rank list is used by many medical colleges to filter their next batch. In spite of this, the percentage of applicants with great intelligence can access university more easily. To illustrate, Some people believe that the university education is only possible to those with high finance whereas other thinks that it is difficult to both poor and rich. But in my point of view, it is mostly depends on the talent and capability of students applying not their finance or culture.
Everyone has the right to education. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to higher studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few will go for it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that those with
financially
sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
college admissions
easily
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that it depends on the ability to study. In my opinion, those who are
highly
talented and ability can access the academy without any difficulties.

Nowadays, it is true that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in colleges is difficult. The foremost reason behind this is most of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
applying for it are well talented,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the cutoff mark will higher.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are ready to pay massive amount a fee to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a seat for higher education.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go for management and
Possible spelling mistake found.
NRI
quotas with large amount of payment as admission fee.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
those are
financially
sound can access the university
Use "(easily)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
easily
than those do not have.

However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
those are
highly
talented will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity for graduation or higher level is
comparatively
higher than those mentioned above. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the criteria for selecting pupils depends on the entrance exam.
For example
, entrance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
like medical entrance, marks and rank list is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
medical colleges to filter their
next
batch.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, the percentage of applicants with great intelligence can access university more
easily
.

To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the university education is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible to those with high finance whereas other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that it is difficult to both poor and rich.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my point of view, it is
mostly
depends on the talent and capability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
applying not their finance or culture.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Describe a beautiful work of art that you have seen. You should say: - what it is- where and when you saw it- how you would describe it- and explain what makes it impressive. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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