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Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? with this opinion? v. 1
Violence has caused a warning alert in education management. I definitely agree that bullying brings a heavy effect in many countries and should be considered as a great burden to society. School is actually a reflection of our social environment. The differences between students, like family background, study achievements, personal characteristics and teacher’s preference, lead to jealousy and hatred, which are the main reasons of school bullying. For example, there are many types of students, including students with good records, students from the rich family and students who have difficulties. Some students, who are weak in physical and psychological strength, will be the ideal victims of bullying. However, extraordinary students like good, pretty or rich students, may also be isolated. In short, to the rest of the class, these students are usually discarded because they are different. It is normal for a family to be proud of their social status. However, parents need to be careful when talking, since the language they use will affect how their children contact to the world. Therefore, the best solution now is educating students to accept the difference as the good things and how to learn from the others. In addition, the victims need to learn to be stronger in mind by reporting to his/her family or schools, because 80% of the continuous violence was from the silent of the victims. From the school side, they also need to take responsibilities by implying good rules and giving fair decisions. These actions will help to send a strong message that students will be protected from bullying, no matter who the bullies are. To conclude, bullying have become a worldwide education matter that needs governments, schools and families work together to stop and prevent it for the future of our children.
Violence has caused a warning alert in education management. I definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullying
brings a heavy effect in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries and should
be considered
as a great burden to society.

School is actually a reflection of our social environment. The differences between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
background, study achievements, personal characteristics and teacher’s preference, lead to jealousy and hatred, which are the main reasons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullying
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
records,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have difficulties.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who are weak in physical and psychological strength, will be the ideal victims of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullying
.
However
, extraordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
, pretty or rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, may
also
be isolated
. In short, to the rest of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
usually
discarded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

It is normal for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to be proud of their social status.
However
, parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be careful when talking, since the language they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
will affect how their children contact to the world.
Therefore
, the best solution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to accept the difference as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
things and how to learn from the others.
In addition
, the victims
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to learn to be stronger in mind by reporting to his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
80% of the continuous violence was from the silent of the victims. From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
side, they
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to take responsibilities by implying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
decisions. These actions will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a strong message that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
be protected
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullying
, no matter who the bullies are.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullying
have become a worldwide education matter that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
work together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it for the future of our children.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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