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Do you agreeor disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements makes products seem much better that they really are v.2

Do you agreeor disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements makes products seem much better that they really are v. 2
In this progressive and sophisticated world, the producing marchanties and staples is a critical factors that has a special role in modern humans life. Among this, advertising is one of the best way to introduce these products to mankinds. When it comes to this point, people have some debates as to whether arvertises make produces better than they really or not. Personally, I agree with the first group and in what follows, two reasons will be discused to shed light on this idea. The first reason coming to my mind to substantiate my stand point is that advertising is the important way for companies to sale their products; therefore, it is the important task of advertises to incorage peoples to buy. In addition this issue is not just in this period of time and it comes from the ancient time when people had not any currency and they bought and sold just with staples. For example, If i have a production i will persuade people to buy my product. Therefore its the natural that advertises overstates about products. Producers pay a lot of money for these advertises and they should achieve their goals. Another equally noteworthy point corroborating my statce is that advertises just speak about perfect charachteristics of products and they dont demonestrate disadvantages and defects of products. The producers who order advertises, know that if they show the defects of productions the custumers will not buy their products so they should tell some big lies to costumers. For instance, my employee has a fish and shrimp export company and when he order advertises just show some perfect advantages; otherwise i know about alot of disadvantages like antibiotcs residuals and some sulfur problems and about histamin that can lead to sudden death in some peoples. To sum up, based on all arguementations stated above, it is natural that advertises overstate about products because if they tell the truth people ingnor them and because they produce in order to help producers to sell their products.
In this progressive and sophisticated world, the producing
Possible spelling mistake found.
marchanties
and staples is a critical
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "factor"?
factors
that has a special role in modern
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "humans'" or "human's"?
humans
life. Among this, advertising is one of the best way to introduce these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
mankinds
. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to this point,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
debates
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
Possible spelling mistake found.
arvertises
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
produces better than they
really
or not.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
group and in what follows, two reasons will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
discused
to shed light on this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

The
first
reason coming to my mind to substantiate my stand point is that advertising is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
way for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to sale their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
;
therefore
, it is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
task of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertises
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
incorage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
this issue is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in this period of time and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the ancient time when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had not any
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
currency and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
and sold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with staples.
For example
, If
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have a production
Did you mean "I"?
i
will persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
the natural that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertises
overstates about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Producers pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertises
and they should achieve their goals.

Another
equally
noteworthy point corroborating my
Possible spelling mistake found.
statce
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
speak about perfect
Possible spelling mistake found.
charachteristics
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
products and
they
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
Possible spelling mistake found.
demonestrate
disadvantages and defects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. The producers who order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertises
, know that if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the defects of productions the
Possible spelling mistake found.
custumers
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
lies to costumers.
For instance
, my employee has a fish and shrimp export
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and when he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "orders", "ordered".
order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
perfect advantages;
otherwise
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
know about
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of disadvantages like
Possible spelling mistake found.
antibiotcs
residuals and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sulfur problems and about
Possible spelling mistake found.
histamin
that can lead to sudden death in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
peoples.

To sum up, based on all
Possible spelling mistake found.
arguementations
stated above, it is natural that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertises
overstate about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the truth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
ingnor
them and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they produce in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
producers to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you agreeor disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements makes products seem much better that they really are v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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