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Nowadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers. Many peope believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their childern. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Nowadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers. Many peope believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their childern. v. 3
In recent years, social issues are increasing. Many of these problems are associated with teenagers. However, many people think that parents are busy with their works and give only little time to their kids. I completely agree with this statement and I will support my views with examples. To begin with, teenagers are our upcoming generations. Everyone has the responsibility to mould them into a good citizen. The main problem takes place among children are drug abuse. The use of drugs among children's increasing day by day. For example, a study conducted by government listed that a total of 8000 children per year is admitted in a rehabilitation centre. This problem increased only because of the improper attention given by their parents. To continue, other major social problem among teenagers are rape. Rape rate is also increasing, and it is most common among children at the age of 17. This kind of issues increased due to the addiction to probe website. Children are very much addicted to these websites. To cite an example, a study conducted by a world organization found out that usage of prone website is increasing by 30 percentage every year. This can be controlled by the parents through various steps like installing the computer in the main room, checking their phone frequently, spending time with them etc. . To conclude, teenagers are the asset of tomorrow's society. So parents should take some steps to control this kind of social problems by giving proper guidance to their children and protect them.
In recent years, social issues are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are associated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that parents are busy with their works and give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time to their kids. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I will support my views with examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are our upcoming generations. Everyone has the responsibility to
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
them into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
takes place among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are drug abuse. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of drugs among children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
day by day.
For example
, a study conducted by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
listed that a total of 8000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
per year
is admitted
in a rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the improper attention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their parents.

To continue, other major social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are rape. Rape rate is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
, and it is most common among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at the age of 17. This kind of issues increased due to the addiction to probe website.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much addicted to these websites. To cite an example, a study conducted by a world organization found out that usage of prone website is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
by 30 percentage every year. This can
be controlled
by the parents through various steps like installing the computer in the main room, checking their phone
frequently
, spending time with them etc.
Two consecutive dots
.


To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are the asset of tomorrow's society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
parents should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to control this kind of social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by giving proper guidance to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and protect them.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Nowadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers. Many peope believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their childern. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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