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Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Although, life today is better than it used to be, human behavior causing problems that will mean life in the future is less comfortable. Use specific reasons and examples to support your point of view. v.12

Although, life today is better than it used to be, human behavior causing problems that will mean life in the future is less comfortable. Use specific reasons and examples to support your point of view. v. 12
The methods and patterns of communication we use today are very different to what they have been in the past. Not only has this had an impact on businesses, there has also been effected on families. I disagree with the view that interaction has decreased between family members. I firmly believe there is more communication in families nowadays. In this essay I will use examples from UK research on mobile phones and internet communications to prove my argument. Firstly, the growth in mobile phones allows family members to contact each other regularly. This is largely because the majority of the population carries a phone. A recent UK mobile operator survey showed that spouses contact each other ten times a day on average. This was not possible before the widespread use of mobile phones. This demonstrates that we have never been better at staying in touch with our loved ones. Secondly, the creation of worldwide internet communication allows families to get in touch easily, even though they may be in different countries. This is due to the speed at which we can communicate with each other today. For instance, the Skype company has published statistics showing that seventy percent of people use Skype to contact family overseas. Therefore, in today's world we are more connected with our family, despite the distance. To summarise, the advancements in mobile phone technology and internet communications have revolutionised the way we stay in touch with our families. We are now better connected to families because of the speed and ease of these innovations. It is predicted that we will continue to converse in many new ways in the future. I believe this will bring us closer to our families.
The methods and patterns of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to what they have been in the past. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has this had an impact on businesses, there has
also
been effected
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. I disagree with the view that interaction has decreased between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. I
firmly
believe there is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
nowadays. In this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
examples from UK research on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and internet communications to prove my argument.

Firstly
, the growth in mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members to contact each other
regularly
. This is
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the majority of the population carries a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. A recent UK mobile operator survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that spouses contact each other ten times a day on average. This was not possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. This demonstrates that we have never been better at staying in touch with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

Secondly
, the creation of worldwide internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch
easily
,
even though
they may be in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. This is due to the speed at which we can communicate with each other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
For instance
, the Skype
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has published statistics showing that seventy percent of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Skype to contact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
overseas.
Therefore
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world we are more connected with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, despite the distance.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, the advancements in mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
technology and internet communications have
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the way we stay in touch with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. We are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
better connected to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the speed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of these innovations. It
is predicted
that we will continue to converse in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new ways in the future. I believe this will bring us closer to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Although, life today is better than it used to be, human behavior causing problems that will mean life in the future is less comfortable. Use specific reasons and examples to support your point of view. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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