Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Some people say that technology has some bad effects on children's creativity. v.25

Some people say that technology has some bad effects on children's creativity. v. 25
One of the tangible signs of modern life is the development of technology which we sense it clearly in the last decads. we know that today children face technology products that did not occurr in the past time. I think modern life which is mixed with technology, has some bad effects on children' s creativity. I will expand this idea below. First, children' s hobbies were very diverse in the past time. Since there were not modern various means, children had to entertain themselves with simple different tools which everybody could access them. To play with some handmade playthings, they had to think and make use of their hands in addition to their eyes. this made their creativity to be strong. Moreover, most of the children got out of the home to join their friends because they used to play in groups. they learned new things with each other which is impossible in single plays. For instance, the children of my generation could build playthings with woods like a treehouse. In contrast with the past, today each child has a tablet, mobile phone, and pc and they just stay at home and play the new generation of games lonely. Second, if there was a question for a child, he/she has had to read some books or ask it from others then put the signs together in order to find his/her answer. most of the times they may found much additional information and they could activate their brain ability to relate different matters together and got much information from a simple question. But now google make it easy. just typing your question, then you can find your answer in a twinkle of an eye without reading books and getting extra information. Here technology makes children lazy and it prevents their brain to work properly. When children don' t make use of their brains, their ability to thinking will be weak and this affects their creativity. As I said above, technology has some bad effects on children' s creativity by making them play lonely and less varied kinds of games(which is restricted to electronic games) and also by less activating their brain ability to find their question by just typing it and get their response directly without any extra information.
One of the tangible signs of modern life is the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which we sense it
clearly
in the last
Possible spelling mistake found.
decads
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
know that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
products that did not
Possible spelling mistake found.
occurr
in the
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
modern life which
is mixed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s creativity. I will expand this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
below.

First
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s hobbies were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
diverse in the
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
. Since there were not modern various means,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had to entertain themselves with simple
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tools which everybody could access them. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
handmade playthings, they had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their hands
in addition
to their eyes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
made their creativity to be strong.
Moreover
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
out of the home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
their friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
in groups.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
learned new things with each other which is impossible in single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of my generation could build playthings with woods like a
Possible spelling mistake found.
treehouse
.
In contrast
with the past,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
each child has a tablet, mobile phone, and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pc and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stay at home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
the new generation of games lonely.

Second, if there was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
question
for a child, he/she has had to read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
books or ask it from others then put the signs together in order to find his/her answer.
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
they may
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
found
much additional
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
information and
they could activate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
ability to relate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
matters together and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from a simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
question
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
google
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it easy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
just
typing your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
question
, then you can find your answer in a twinkle of an eye without reading books and getting extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Here
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lazy and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
to work
properly
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brains
, their ability to thinking will be weak and this affects their creativity.

As I said above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s creativity by making them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
lonely and less varied kinds of games(which
is restricted
to electronic games) and
also
by less activating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
ability to find their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
question
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
typing it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their response
directly
without any extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Some people say that technology has some bad effects on children's creativity. v. 25

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts