Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with this statement? some people say that the internet provides people with lots of valuable information, Other thinks access to so much information creates problem. v.21

some people say that the internet provides people with lots of valuable information, Other thinks access to so much information creates problem. v. 21
Undoubtedly, internet is one of the crucially important invention of human being which makes possible most of inevitable things for us. Although, there are the great number of people who believe that internet creates problem, I personally do not agree with them. There are three main reasons to show why I have this preference. First and foremost, by using internet, doing research with scientific purposes became very easy and available. In the past, before inviting internet, researchers and students should spend lots of their valuable time in finding proper information in libraries, despite the fact that, finding especial data in some fields was too difficult or impossible. For example, as I remember when I was studying master in university, I was able to access all of papers which had been written before me about that subject and I used them in order to carry out my research to write papers. Without internet such a big research would be inconceivable. Another prominent reason is that, internet provides all people with lots of information in all fields from a household woman to a writer or a professional doctor in a way that everybody access to whatever ones need. For instance when I want to cook a new food, I surf the net and find a delicious new food to cook or when I want to go shopping I search about the shopping centers and their prices to find reasonable price for shopping. In fact, it is possible for all classes of people to access special kind of information according to their requirements. Last but not least, I think that with the possibility of learning about news online, people themselves, can check if something they have heard is true or not, especially by using prevalent social networks which every day lots of wrong news about celebrities or politicians are spread. I myself, every morning check news online in several websites to distinguish which one is true. To sum up, although, misusing internet could cause lots of problem, it provides us with vast range of worthy information in all context and makes us possible to access to resources of information.
Undoubtedly
, internet is one of the
crucially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
invention of human being which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
possible
Consider using "most inevitable" or "most of the inevitable".
most of inevitable
things for us. Although, there are the great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that internet creates problem, I
personally
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them. There are three main reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
why I have this preference.

First
and foremost, by using internet, doing research with scientific purposes became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy and available. In the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
inviting internet, researchers and students should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of their valuable time in finding proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in libraries, despite the fact that, finding especial data in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fields was too difficult or impossible.
For example
, as I remember when I was studying master in university, I was able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
Consider using "all papers" or "all of the papers".
all of papers
which had
been written
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
me about that subject and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
them in order to carry out my research to write papers. Without internet such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
research would be inconceivable.

Another prominent reason is that, internet provides all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in all fields from a household woman to a writer or a professional doctor in a way that everybody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to whatever ones need.
For instance
when I want to cook a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
food, I surf the net and find a delicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
food to cook or when I want to go shopping I search about the shopping centers and their prices to find reasonable price for shopping. In fact, it is possible for all classes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
special kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
according to their requirements.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that with the possibility of learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
online,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
if something they have heard is true or not,
especially
by using prevalent social networks which every day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about celebrities or politicians
are spread
. I myself, every morning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
online in several websites to distinguish which one is true.

To sum up, although, misusing internet could cause
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of problems".
lots of problem
, it provides us with vast range of worthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in all context and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us possible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to resources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay some people say that the internet provides people with lots of valuable information, Other thinks access to so much information creates problem. v. 21

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
356 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts