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Do you agree or disagree with this statementmost advertisements make product seem much better than they really are. v.2

most advertisements make product seem much better than they really are. v. 2
By growing population more and more and increasing use of development technologies, the people' s tendency to shopping is increased as well. Moreover, producers are seeking the better ways to persuade people to buy their products even by using of ling. I personally believe that in advertisements the products are better than they really are. There are three main reasons to show why I have this preference. First and foremost, most of the producers are only thinking about the way they could absorb the customers. This means that they use some exaggerated advertisements to show the products in the best form. This happens through different ways such as increasing function of a device, makes it more beautiful or more qualified. For example, I often see in satellite’s channels some drugs are advertised which can use for losing weight, although, according to the researchers, there is no way to losing weight except doing regular exercises and decreasing the amount of food meals. Another prominent reason is that despite the lower quality of these products than something they really are, any person rejects them. This matter is because their seller never take the responsibility of sold product. Eventually, if the customers are unsatisfied with the product, they only refute to buy it again; but, it takes the long time to all people figure out to not to buy the especial product. As an instance, I have heard several times that after a long time selling of an especial product, it has been said that it had not had any license to be sold. Last but not least, in advertisement, the producers try to make the appearance of their products more attractive. This is the way to deceiving people, because honesty is the most crucially important rule for trading. To sum up, in order to absorbing more customer, the advertisements make products seem much better than they really are.
By growing population more and more and increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of development technologies, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s tendency to shopping
is increased
as well
.
Moreover
, producers are seeking the better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
even by using of
Did you mean "long"?
ling
. I
personally
believe that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are better than they
really
are. There are three main reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
why I have this preference.

First
and foremost, most of the producers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thinking about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
they could absorb the customers. This means that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exaggerated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the best form. This happens through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
such as increasing function of a device,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
or more qualified.
For example
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in satellite’s channels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drugs
are advertised
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for losing weight, although, according to the researchers, there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to losing weight except doing regular exercises and decreasing the amount of food meals.

Another prominent reason is that despite the lower quality of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
than something they
really
are, any person rejects them. This matter is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their seller never take the responsibility of sold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Eventually
, if the customers
are unsatisfied
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
refute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it again;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it takes the long time to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
figure out
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the especial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. As an instance, I have heard several times that after a long time selling of an especial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, it has
been said
that it had not had any license to
be sold
.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, the producers try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the appearance of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
more attractive. This is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to deceiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
honesty is the most
crucially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
for trading.

To sum up, in order to
Did you mean "absorb"?
absorbing
more customer, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
seem much better than they
really
are.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay most advertisements make product seem much better than they really are. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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