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Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication such as letters, e-mails or telephone callsUse specific reasons and details to support your answer v.14

Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication such as letters, e-mails or telephone callsUse specific reasons and details to support your answer v. 14
People have their own views regarding the development of some children. Some people hold the opinion that the role of external factors like watching televisions, being with friends and listening to music has significant impact while others claim that the family has the dominant role. This essay will be discussed on both opposing views along with some relevant ideas. In this 21st century, children are more likely to get knowledge through different entertainment and multimedia sectors. We can clearly notice that some child’s are being attracted towards tv programs. They provide various information as well as motivational things which can help in physical and mental growth of a child. However, they should be motivated to watch informative things rather than an offensive one. Similarly, involvement of friends circle also has great impact on gradual improvement of youngsters. Engaging with peer groups can create a social bond among children. They can share their feelings and learn new things from friends. For instance, some children feel more comfortable with their friends and share their problems rather than family. Lastly, music is also regarded as a crucial part in the advancement of a child’s growth. Musical knowledge is a healing factor for sound health. Young ones can get relief by listening to songs of their choice. Some tones could help them to get concentrated and dedicated towards their study. To make it more clear, my own younger brother often loves to play motivational themes while studying. He claimed that melody’s will make him to get focused. On the contrary, people also have their own views regarding important part of parents in their children’s development. Parents are the closest friend of their kids and they can get attached easily. They learn whatever is taught to them from the beginning. The family member can mould their juvenile in their own shape. It is their responsibility to guide the children in the right path before any others do. To conclude, I personally believe that the role of both parents as well as electronic media along with friends circle have a great impact on building a child’s character. Their involvement in both sectors to grab knowledge can help them to have social skills with improved behaviour which can assist them to become global citizens.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
views regarding the development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the opinion that the role of external factors like watching televisions, being with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and listening to music has significant impact while others claim that the family has the dominant role. This essay will
be discussed
on both opposing views along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

In this 21st century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
entertainment and multimedia sectors. We can
clearly
notice that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
The possessive apostrophe seems to be incorrect. Please remove the apostrophe if you want to use the plural form of 'child'.
child’s
are
being attracted
towards
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
programs. They provide various information
as well
as motivational things which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in physical and mental growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
However
, they should
be motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
informative things
rather
than an offensive one.
Similarly
, involvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
circle
also
has great impact on gradual improvement of youngsters. Engaging with peer groups can create a social bond among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They can share their feelings and learn new things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel more comfortable with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and share their problems
rather
than family.

Lastly
, music is
also
regarded as a crucial part in the advancement of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
growth. Musical knowledge is a healing factor for sound health. Young ones can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relief by listening to songs of their choice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
tones could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
concentrated and dedicated towards their study. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
younger brother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
to play motivational themes while studying. He claimed that melody’s will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
focused.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
views regarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of parents in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
development. Parents are the closest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
kids and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attached
easily
. They learn whatever
is taught
to them from the beginning. The family member can
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
their juvenile in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
shape. It is their responsibility to guide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the right path
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any others do.

To conclude
, I
personally
believe that the role of both parents
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
electronic media along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
circle have a great impact on building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
character. Their involvement in both sectors to grab knowledge can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to have social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
which can assist them to become global citizens.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication such as letters, e-mails or telephone callsUse specific reasons and details to support your answer v. 14

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
377 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication such as letters, e-mails or telephone callsUse specific reasons and details to support your answer v.14