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do you agree or disagree with this statement. it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. v.11

it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. v. 11
A larger number of elderly people are now being placed in a nursing home or care homes of their family. In this essay I plan to talk about both advantages and disadvantages of this. Firstly, the main advantage of a home is not to isolate the elderly from family members, but to allow them to get the daily help they may need. They have staff that is trained to deal with the different personalities that may come their way. Furthermore, a nursing home gives the family peace of mind knowing someone is taking care of them and they are ensuring that they are getting all the necessary nutrition, vitamins and exercise needed. Even though the care homes have a lot of advantages, it does come with a few drawbacks. Leaving someone in a retirement facility may leave them feeling unwanted. Secondly, this may also leave them feeling isolated from family, especially if they do no come to visit as often. Nursing homes are usually situated in an area that may be considered too far to make weekly trips and as a consequence, our loved ones get placed in the back of our thoughts as day to day routines can get hectic. In addition, a good facility can be pricey and not many people would be able to afford it. In conclusion, retirement facilities can be beneficial, but it can also be detrimental. One should really weigh all the pros and cons to see how the facility can benefit both parties involved before making a decision.
A larger number of elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being placed
in a nursing home or care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In this essay I plan to talk about both advantages and disadvantages of this.

Firstly
, the main advantage of a home is not to isolate the elderly from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
they may need. They have staff that
is trained
to deal with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
personalities that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
their way.
Furthermore
, a nursing home gives the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
peace of mind knowing someone is taking care of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they are ensuring that they are getting all the necessary nutrition, vitamins and exercise needed.

Even though
the care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages, it does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with a few drawbacks. Leaving someone in a retirement facility may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them feeling unwanted.
Secondly
, this may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them feeling isolated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
especially
if they do no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to visit as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. Nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are
usually
situated in an area that may
be considered
too far to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
weekly trips and as a consequence, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
placed in the back of our thoughts as day to day routines can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hectic.
In addition
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facility can be pricey and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be able to afford it.

In conclusion
, retirement facilities can be beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
also
be detrimental. One should
really
weigh all the pros and cons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how the facility can benefit both parties involved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a decision.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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