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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who cannot accept criticism from others cannot be successful at working in a group Use reasons and examples to explain your choice. v.500

People who cannot accept criticism from others cannot be successful at working in a group Use reasons and examples to explain your choice. v. 500
There is no shortage of debate about whether people must be open to critisem or not. Although many believe individuals who cannot criticism from other can be successful at working in a group. I, on the other hand, believe people must accept criticism if they want to be successful at working in a group. I will address the most discernible reasons why I feel this way in the following. To begin with, there is a consensus about humans being and we all believe no one is complete, which means that everyone may make mistake. While only few people accept this idea about themselves, because many of us think that our work and decisions is are all the time. Thus, we must listen to other ideas and accept their criticism, to avoid mistake. Because I believe most of the time our decisions are not base on real facts and our works are based on assumptions. Admittedly, it is more possible for individuals to become successful when he/she be open to criticism. Becauseit is more possible that our friends or our group members be more experienced, and listening to their critisems will help us to avoid mistake and become successful. Take Jake as an example. However he is a good computer programmer but he made some mistakes in his work. I recall that when I told him it is better to use C++ language instead of Java, and it is better to review his code to avoid mistake. He became angry and told me he is the best programmer and he did not need to do that. Not only that but, when other employee told him it is better to be polite with customer he became angry, because the thoauth they were wrong and he did not do any mistake. Finally our supervisor had to fired him because he did not accept criticism. Moreover, accepting other critisecm is a cost that we should pay to avoid loosing our connection in group. For instance, I used to be jealous, and did not endure anyone criticism. When I was a university student, I worked in a group as a volunteer, and because I was beginner I made a lot of mistakes, but I did not accept my team members critiscm, because I taught they were wrong, and I am better than them. Gradually thus they cut their relationships with me, in order to avoid conflict, and they fired me from their group. In conclusion, it is for all the aforementioned reasons, I firmly believe that people who cannot accept criticism from others cannot be successful at working in a group. This is because maybe other people opinion is true and it helps us to avoid mistake, and because accepting other criticism is a cost that we should pay to avoid losing our connector in group.
There is no shortage of debate about whether
people
must
be open to
critisem
or not.
Although
many
believe
individuals who cannot
criticism
from
other
can be
successful
at working in a
group
. I, on the
other
hand,
believe
people
must
accept
criticism
if they want to be
successful
at working in a
group
. I will address the most discernible reasons why I feel this way in the following.

To
begin
with, there is a consensus about humans
being and
we all
believe
no one is complete, which means that everyone may
make
mistake
. While
only
few
people
accept
this
idea
about themselves,
because
many
of us
think
that our work and decisions is are all the time.
Thus
, we
must
listen to
other
ideas
and
accept
their
criticism
, to
avoid
mistake
.
Because
I
believe
most of the time our decisions are not base on real facts and our works
are based
on assumptions.
Admittedly
, it is more possible for individuals to become
successful
when he/she be open to
criticism
.
Becauseit
is more possible that our friends or our
group
members be more experienced, and listening to their
critisems
will
help
us to
avoid
mistake
and become
successful
. Take Jake as an example.
However
he is a
good
computer programmer
but
he made
some
mistakes
in his work. I recall that when I
told
him it is
better
to
use
C++ language
instead
of Java, and it is
better
to review his code to
avoid
mistake
. He became angry and
told
me he is the best
programmer and
he did not need to do that. Not
only
that
but
, when
other
employee
told
him it is
better
to be polite with customer he became angry,
because
the
thoauth
they were
wrong and
he did not do any
mistake
.
Finally
our supervisor had to fired him
because
he did not
accept
criticism.

Moreover
, accepting
other
critisecm
is a cost that we should pay to
avoid
loosing our connection in
group
.
For instance
, I
used
to be jealous, and did not endure anyone
criticism
. When I was a university student, I worked in a
group
as a volunteer, and
because
I was beginner I made
a lot of
mistakes
,
but
I did not
accept
my team members
critiscm
,
because
I taught they were
wrong
, and I am
better
than
them
.
Gradually
thus
they
cut
their relationships with me, in order to
avoid
conflict, and they fired me from their group.

In conclusion
, it is for all the aforementioned reasons, I
firmly
believe
that
people
who cannot
accept
criticism
from others cannot be
successful
at working in a
group
. This is
because
maybe
other
people
opinion is true and it
helps
us to
avoid
mistake
, and
because
accepting
other
criticism
is a cost that we should pay to
avoid
losing our connector in
group
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay People who cannot accept criticism from others cannot be successful at working in a group Use reasons and examples to explain your choice. v. 500

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
471 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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