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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who cannot accept criticism from others cannot be successful at working in a group Use reasons and examples to explain your choice. v.500

People who cannot accept criticism from others cannot be successful at working in a group Use reasons and examples to explain your choice. v. 500
There is no shortage of debate about whether people must be open to critisem or not. Although many believe individuals who cannot criticism from other can be successful at working in a group. I, on the other hand, believe people must accept criticism if they want to be successful at working in a group. I will address the most discernible reasons why I feel this way in the following. To begin with, there is a consensus about humans being and we all believe no one is complete, which means that everyone may make mistake. While only few people accept this idea about themselves, because many of us think that our work and decisions is are all the time. Thus, we must listen to other ideas and accept their criticism, to avoid mistake. Because I believe most of the time our decisions are not base on real facts and our works are based on assumptions. Admittedly, it is more possible for individuals to become successful when he/she be open to criticism. Becauseit is more possible that our friends or our group members be more experienced, and listening to their critisems will help us to avoid mistake and become successful. Take Jake as an example. However he is a good computer programmer but he made some mistakes in his work. I recall that when I told him it is better to use C++ language instead of Java, and it is better to review his code to avoid mistake. He became angry and told me he is the best programmer and he did not need to do that. Not only that but, when other employee told him it is better to be polite with customer he became angry, because the thoauth they were wrong and he did not do any mistake. Finally our supervisor had to fired him because he did not accept criticism. Moreover, accepting other critisecm is a cost that we should pay to avoid loosing our connection in group. For instance, I used to be jealous, and did not endure anyone criticism. When I was a university student, I worked in a group as a volunteer, and because I was beginner I made a lot of mistakes, but I did not accept my team members critiscm, because I taught they were wrong, and I am better than them. Gradually thus they cut their relationships with me, in order to avoid conflict, and they fired me from their group. In conclusion, it is for all the aforementioned reasons, I firmly believe that people who cannot accept criticism from others cannot be successful at working in a group. This is because maybe other people opinion is true and it helps us to avoid mistake, and because accepting other criticism is a cost that we should pay to avoid losing our connector in group.
There is no shortage of debate about whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be open to
Possible spelling mistake found.
critisem
or not.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
individuals who cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criticism
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
at working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. I, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criticism
if they want to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
at working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. I will address the most discernible reasons why I feel this way in the following.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is a consensus about humans
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
being and
we all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
no one is complete, which means that everyone may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
. While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that our work and decisions is are all the time.
Thus
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criticism
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
most of the time our decisions are not base on real facts and our works
are based
on assumptions.
Admittedly
, it is more possible for individuals to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
when he/she be open to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criticism
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Becauseit
is more possible that our friends or our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
members be more experienced, and listening to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
critisems
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
and become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
. Take Jake as an example.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
he is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
computer programmer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
in his work. I recall that when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
C++ language
instead
of Java, and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to review his code to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
. He became angry and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me he is the best
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
programmer and
he did not need to do that. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
employee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to be polite with customer he became angry,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
thoauth
they were
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
wrong and
he did not do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
our supervisor had to fired him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
criticism.

Moreover
, accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
critisecm
is a cost that we should pay to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
loosing our connection in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
For instance
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be jealous, and did not endure anyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criticism
. When I was a university student, I worked in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
as a volunteer, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was beginner I made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
my team members
Possible spelling mistake found.
critiscm
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I taught they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, and I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than
In formal / written English, it is recommended that you use a subject pronoun.
them
.
Gradually
thus
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
their relationships with me, in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
conflict, and they fired me from their group.

In conclusion
, it is for all the aforementioned reasons, I
firmly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criticism
from others cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
at working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opinion is true and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criticism
is a cost that we should pay to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
avoid
losing our connector in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay People who cannot accept criticism from others cannot be successful at working in a group Use reasons and examples to explain your choice. v. 500

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
471 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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