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Do you agree or disagree with the statement that governments should spend more money to improve internet access not on public transportation? v.1

that governments should spend more money to improve internet access not on public transportation? v. 1
It is true that there are mixed opinions which are relevant to a media topic nowadays. While some people insist that news which whether appeared in magazines or broadcasted on TV have resulted in nothing, I opine that this thing brings to us both advantages and disadvantages. My twofold essay will demonstrate this perspective in details. On the one hand, there is a plethora of news that is spread out day-to-day have no useful information for certain people. Firstly, people have been overwhelming recently by advertisement which have been rising on an unprecedented scale. In other words, every day it seems as if people are bombarded with banners, flyers, pop-ups which are attached in newspapers or TV program. Secondly, the advent of the internet which entails people have access more and more online information which might be not appropriate with some of them, especially irritates them. Kenh14, for example, which is a big media agency in Viet Nam usually carries too many private stories of Vietnamese celebrities and trivia, that are meaningless. On the other hand, I would put forth the strong arguments in favour of my views that the news channels have influenced society in many positive ways. Obviously, press and TV are essential channels, helping people to keep abreast of several breaking news. It has played a vital important role in the fight against pandemic in the throughout world caused by Covid-19 virus; thank to the media, the medical information is transmitted promptly which might prevent the epidemic outbreak. Moreover, it is a great way that people can earn more knowledge through the television programs. For instance, Learning English will become more exciting and practical when people have a habit of reading some English magazines and watching English News. In conclusion, Although there is a great deal of drawbacks of media channels, I believe that the marvellous impact on society of the upside is overweigh its disadvantages.
It is true that there
are mixed
opinions which are relevant to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
topic nowadays. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which whether appeared in magazines or broadcasted on TV have resulted in nothing, I opine that this thing brings to us both advantages and disadvantages. My twofold essay will demonstrate this perspective in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

On the one hand, there is a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that
is spread
out day-to-day have no useful information for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been overwhelming recently by advertisement which have been rising on an unprecedented scale.
In other words
, every day it seems as if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are bombarded
with banners, flyers, pop-ups which
are attached
in newspapers or TV program.
Secondly
, the advent of the internet which entails
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have access more and more online information which might be not appropriate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them,
especially
irritates them. Kenh14,
for example
, which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
agency in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam
usually
carries too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
private stories of Vietnamese celebrities and trivia, that are meaningless.

On the other hand
, I would put forth the strong arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my views that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels have influenced society in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ways.
Obviously
, press and TV are essential channels, helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abreast of several breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. It has played a vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the fight against pandemic in the throughout world caused by Covid-19 virus; thank to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, the medical information
is transmitted
promptly
which might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the epidemic outbreak.
Moreover
, it is a great way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can earn more knowledge through the television programs.
For instance
, Learning English will become more exciting and practical when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a habit of reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
English magazines and watching English News.

In conclusion
, Although there is a great deal of drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
channels, I believe that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'marvellous' is British English.
marvellous
impact on society of the upside is
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
its disadvantages.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay that governments should spend more money to improve internet access not on public transportation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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