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Some people say that E-books and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines to what extent do you agree or disagree. v.4

Some people say that E-books and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines v. 4
With regard to the high speed of technological progress, it is conceivable that digital books and online news sources will completely replace with printed ones. I believe that this hypothesis might be happening based on two primary reasons. It is an indisputable fact that the advanced technologies, in particular E-books, have revolutionized the process of finding and reading books. In the earlier times, finding a certain book entailed long hours searching library shelves or looking for in a various types of bookshops. Now, however, the same book not only can be easily accessed at the click of a button, but also can be read or listened in any situation. Additionally, since E-books are more affordable and take up really less space, anyone can have this chance to possess their own individual library with their favourite books as well as to carry it anywhere just on a portable, light-weighted device. Therefore, digital resource of books is attracting more people. Furthermore, online news websites have provided a great opportunity to share important or interesting news easily and quickly as well. Before innovation the internet, people must wait to be informed news, at least one day because newspapers released daily. Today, however, a vast amount of the newest information is available on various websites which people can share them with their friends in an instant while they are reading. So the popularity of online news is increasing day by day. In conclusion, I strongly believe that though some people still enjoy reading a traditional newspaper in the early morning or physical books on the night before going in the bed, digital books and online news resources will thoroughly take the place of conventional publication in the near future owing to advantages noticed above.
With regard to the high speed of technological progress, it is conceivable that digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
sources will completely replace with printed ones. I believe that this hypothesis might be happening based on two primary reasons.

It is an indisputable fact that the advanced technologies,
in particular
E-books, have revolutionized the process of finding and reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. In the earlier times, finding a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
entailed long hours searching library shelves or looking for in a various
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "type"?
types
of bookshops.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
however
, the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can be
easily
accessed at the click of a button,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
be read
or listened in any situation.
Additionally
, since E-books are more affordable and take up
really
less space, anyone can have this chance to possess their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
individual library with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as well
as to carry it anywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on a portable, light-weighted device.
Therefore
, digital resource of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is attracting more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
websites have provided a great opportunity to share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
or interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
easily
and
quickly
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
innovation the internet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
wait to
be informed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, at least one day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
newspapers released daily.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
however
, a vast amount of the newest information is available on various websites which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can share them with their friends in an instant while they are reading.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is increasing day by day.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
enjoy reading a traditional newspaper in the early morning or physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on the night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going in the bed, digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
resources will
thoroughly
take the place of conventional publication in the near future owing to advantages noticed above.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that E-books and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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