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Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Childhood is the happiest time of a person’s life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.3

Childhood is the happiest time of a person’s life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 3
Some people believe that children at an early age should be provided the basis to understand the difference between right and wrong, and also they would have to penalty while doing this. I completely disagree with this view because I believe that children can be raised without punishment. On the one hand, I accept that families have an obligation to express right and wrong behaviours to their own children in some way. They should this because each child will be an individual in our society in the future, and as they can be a beneficial person to society, their parents must bring up them based on morality. In other words, childhood is a considerable time period of human life in order to lay the foundations for being a moral person. On the other hand, while some people consider punishment necessary to learn these, I think that families should prefer to reward their children rather than punish them. For instance, parents can promise to buy more toys to get a child adopt to the habit of sharing her/his toys with their friends. People who have a child can apply sanction at the point where rewarding is insufficient. They should not resort to violence like physical or psychological harm to teach being a good person to their own children. In conclusion, it must be said that gaining children moral behaviour is a topic which is very relevant to our society. I believe quite strongly that children can be taught good conduct encouragingly.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at an early age should
be provided
the basis to understand the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, and
also
they would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
penalty while doing this. I completely disagree with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be raised
without punishment.

On the one hand, I accept that families have an obligation to express right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way. They should this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each child will be an individual in our society in the future, and as they can be a beneficial person to society, their parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
bring up them based on morality.
In other words
, childhood is a considerable time period of human life in order to lay the foundations for being a moral person.

On the other hand
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider punishment necessary to learn these, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that families should prefer to reward their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
rather
than punish them.
For instance
, parents can promise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more toys to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a child
Did you mean "adapt to"?
adopt to
the habit of sharing her/his toys with their friends.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who have a child can apply sanction at the point where rewarding is insufficient. They should not resort to violence like physical or psychological harm to teach being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
children.

In conclusion
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be said
that gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
moral
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is a topic which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
relevant to our society. I believe quite
strongly
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be taught
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conduct
encouragingly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Childhood is the happiest time of a person’s life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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