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Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and example to support your answer. v.11

Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and example to support your answer. v. 11
Using television channels for showing criminal trials to public has become common in most of the countries. Watching these trials can give people knowledge about various laws and act as a deterrent for youngsters, however, there are also some drawbacks to be taken into account. Firstly, watching the criminal trial on any media channel make people aware about many different laws that exist in their legal system. In other words, the majority of citizens, except law students and professionals, have only little knowledge of the country's constitution, thus these kinds of trials help people understand the various kinds of punishments and fines applicable to criminals under different cases. Therefore, this knowledge can be beneficial for some victims. Secondly, knowing about some strict laws act as a deterrent for many youngsters. Fear of getting strict punishment will stop them from being a part of any criminal activity. On the other hand, broadcasting of the criminal trial can cause some serious problems. One of the downsides of showing such trials is that the result of an ongoing court case might get hampered. It means that media coverage and public pressure can influence the outcome of any high-profile case. Another possible issue is, it might turn criminals into TV stars which might negatively influence young people. For example, criminals are shown on every news channel, so they become famous in no time. Few young people might take it wrong and can consider that doing a crime will give them access to media platforms and they might become famous in a short span of time. In conclusion, while there are some benefits of showing criminal trials on television, it might negatively influence young children's minds and can put pressure on the judicial system.
Using television channels for showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
to public has become common in most of the countries. Watching these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
can give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
knowledge about various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and act as a deterrent for youngsters,
however
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to
be taken
into account.

Firstly
, watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trial
on any media channel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
that exist in their legal system.
In other words
, the majority of citizens, except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
students and professionals, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
knowledge of the country's constitution,
thus
these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the various kinds of punishments and fines applicable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cases.
Therefore
, this knowledge can be beneficial for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
victims.
Secondly
, knowing about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
act as a deterrent for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters. Fear of getting strict punishment will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
them from being a part of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activity.

On the other hand
, broadcasting of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trial
can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious problems. One of the downsides of showing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
is that the result of an ongoing court case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hampered. It means that media coverage and public pressure can influence the outcome of any high-profile case. Another possible issue is, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
into TV stars which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
negatively
influence young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are shown
on every news channel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in no time. Few young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
take it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and can consider that doing a crime will give them access to media
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
platforms and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in a short span of time.

In conclusion
, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
on television, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
negatively
influence young children's minds and can put pressure on the judicial system.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and example to support your answer. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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