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Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects, instead of some specific subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint? v.3

Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects, instead of some specific subjects. with this viewpoint? v. 3
A joint family can nurture the growth of kids more than them being raised in a nuclear environment. There are many reasons as to why I support this statement. Few of them are it develop their financial management skills, creates a sharing mentality and also improve their speaking skills. To begin with, an adolescent growing up along with an extended family will be efficient at saving. For example, a large amount of money is required to provide food and shelter for the entire family. A toddler raised in such environment grows up witnessing how the adults in the house manage cash. As a result, once he starts earning in the future, it would benefit him. Secondly, these children will have a heart to share things with others. To cite an example, since there would be other kids as well in the family, they will have to give away their toys to other kids either by force or voluntarily. Consequently, since the art of sharing is carried on from a younger age, this character would follow him till the end. Finally, mingling with many members exposes the child to a wide range of vocabulary. This would enhance his speech and would reduce the risk of him being a late-talker or autistic. These days, as kids are more exposed to digital screens, they have a delay in speech. However, a child living in a joint family is capable of talking right from a very young age. To conclude, I agree that staying with the whole family can contribute many positive attitudes to the child than being with parents alone. Some of them are being good at managerial skills, love towards sharing and also efficient in talking.
A joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can nurture the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
more than them
being raised
in a nuclear environment. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons as to why I support this statement. Few of them are it develop their financial management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, creates a sharing mentality and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, an adolescent growing up along with an extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will be efficient at saving.
For example
, a large amount of money
is required
to provide food and shelter for the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. A toddler raised in such environment grows up witnessing how the adults in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
manage cash.
As a result
, once he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
earning in the future, it would benefit him.

Secondly
, these children will have a heart to share things with others. To cite an example, since there would be other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
as well
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give away their toys to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
either by force or
voluntarily
.
Consequently
, since the art of sharing
is carried
on from a younger age, this character would follow him till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Finally
, mingling with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
members exposes the child to a wide range of vocabulary. This would enhance his speech and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of him being a late-talker or autistic. These days, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are more exposed to digital screens, they have a delay in speech.
However
, a child living in a joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is capable of talking right from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that staying with the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can contribute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitudes to the child than being with parents alone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at managerial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
towards sharing and
also
efficient in talking.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects, instead of some specific subjects. with this viewpoint? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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