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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Universities should give the same amount of money to their students sports activities as they give to their university libraries Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v.1

Universities should give the same amount of money to their students sports activities as they give to their university libraries Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 1
It is irrefutable that the mental and the social development are few of the important aspects of a growing child. There are many people who think that the school going children's smartness and talking sense is more inspired by their teachers than their parents. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument. The most significant advantage of the school is the atmosphere. The parents do take extra care on deciding where their kid should study. For instance, no parents want their child to be enrolled in a school, where the teachers are careless and are not qualified. It is because they are aware that their child will be spending a great amount of time with them. Also, they know what an impact one bad teacher can have on a child, both mentally and physically. As a result, the parents do know that how much influence the teachers have on their students and their overall growth. On the other hand, the parents are equally responsible for their child's development. No parents should leave their child's development in the hands of the school and the teachers. There are lots of etiquettes which are learned at home. For example, in social gathering, parents should behave in a manner thinking that their child is watching them and learning. The reason for this is, it has been proved that children do behave the same as their parents. Therefore, he would learn to behave in a similar manner as the parent of the child behaved socially. In conclusion, whereas the teachers do play an important part in inspiring a child. In my view, the parents and the teachers, both influences the school going child both intelligently and socially by one way or another.
It is irrefutable that the mental and the social development are few of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of a growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
going children's smartness and talking sense is more inspired by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument.

The most significant advantage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the atmosphere. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do take extra care on deciding where their kid should study.
For instance
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
be enrolled
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are careless and are not qualified. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are aware that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will be spending a great amount of time with them.
Also
, they know what an impact one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can have on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, both mentally and
physically
.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do know that how much influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have on their students and their
overall
growth.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
equally
responsible for their child's development. No
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their child's development in the hands of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. There are lots of
Possible spelling mistake found.
etiquettes
which
are learned
at home.
For example
, in social gathering,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should behave in a manner thinking that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is watching them and learning.
The reason for this is
, it has
been proved
that children do behave the same as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Therefore
, he would learn to behave
Consider replacing "in a similar manner" with the adverb for "similar"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a similar manner
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
behaved
socially
.

In conclusion
, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in inspiring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. In my view, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, both influences the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
both
intelligently
and
socially
by one way or another.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Universities should give the same amount of money to their students sports activities as they give to their university libraries Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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