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The graph below shows the average class size in six countries and compares it with the world average class size in 2006 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main points and give comparisons where relevant v.1

The graph below shows the average class size in six countries and compares it with the world average class size in 2006
TODAY'S PEOPLE ARE BECOMING MORE LASY AND DEPENDABLE HENCE, THE HEALTH ISSUES ARE INCREASING IMMENSLY. CERTAIN FOLKS ARGUE THAT GROUP ACTIVITY HAS MORE ADVANTAGES LIKE CRICKET, WHERE AS SOME THINK THAT PLAYING SOLO GAME IS MUCH BETTER SUCH AS CARROM, CHESS. FIRSTLY, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS HOW THE GROUP GAMES BUID THE TEAM LEADERSHIP IN A PERSON AND AND SECONDLY, HOW SOLO ACTIVITY INCREASE THE INTELLECTUAL STAUS OF THE INDIVIDUAL. ON THE ONE HAND, PLAYING IN A TEAM BOOST THE STRENGTH AND CONCEAL THE WEAKNESS. AS A RESULT INCREASE THE CONFIDENCE IN A PERSON AND ABLE TO MANAGE ALONE IN THE FUTURE AS WELL. SO, THAT INDIVIDUAL CAN PERFORM WELL FURTHER IN THE FUTURE. FOR EXAMPLE, 60% PEOPLE LEARN THEIR LEADERSHIP SKILL AFTER WORKING IN THE GROUP OF PEOPLE, NONETHELESS, SOMETIME, DUE TO SOME EFFORTLESS PEOPLE, FEW PEOPLE TEND TO HAVE MORE BURDEN. ON THE OTHER SIDE, INTELLECTUAL LEVEL CAN BE ACHIEVED BY THE SOLO ACTIVITY WHERE THE PERSON IS ALONE RESPONSOIBLE FOR THE RESULT OF THE ACTION AND HAS NOBODY TO GUIDE. THIS INCREASE THEIR INDEPENDANCY WHERE THEY ARE ABLE TAKE DECISION SOLOLY. HENCE, AFTER PLAYING INDOOR GAMES INDIVIDUAL CAN NEVER HAVE FEAR TO STEP AHEAD WITHOUT ANYONE'S ASSISTANCE. FOR INSTANCE, 70% OF THE BUSINESSMEN SAYS THAT THEY USED TO PLAY SOME MIND GAME WHICH HAS RISEN UP THEIR MENTAL LEVEL DUE TO WHICH THEY GOT A SUCCESS IN LIFE. THEREFORE, I BELIEVE THAT WHETHER IT IS A GROUP SPORTS OR A SINGLE, BOTH HAVE ITS OWN BENEFITS AND HENCE, I SUGGEST THAT EVERYONE SHOULD PLAY ATLEAST ONE SPORT ACCORDING TO THE WEAKNESS. IN CONCLUSION, SPORTS INDEED PROVIDES MORE PROS RATHER THAN SITTING AT ONE PLACE. SO, TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLLE TO TAKE PART IN, GOVERNMENT CAN ARRANGE SOME AWARNESS PROGRAM IN WHICH CONVEY CLEAR MASSEGE TO THE PEOPLE.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TODAY
'S
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
ARE BECOMING MORE
Possible spelling mistake found.
LASY
AND DEPENDABLE
HENCE
, THE HEALTH ISSUES ARE INCREASING
Possible spelling mistake found.
IMMENSLY
. CERTAIN FOLKS ARGUE THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GROUP
ACTIVITY HAS MORE ADVANTAGES LIKE CRICKET,
Did you mean "WHEREAS"?
WHERE AS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
THAT PLAYING SOLO GAME IS MUCH BETTER SUCH AS
Possible spelling mistake found.
CARROM
, CHESS.
FIRSTLY
, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS HOW THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GROUP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GAMES
Possible spelling mistake found.
BUID
THE TEAM LEADERSHIP IN A PERSON
Possible typo: you repeated a word
AND AND
SECONDLY
, HOW SOLO ACTIVITY INCREASE THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
INTELLECTUAL STAUS
OF THE INDIVIDUAL.

ON THE ONE HAND, PLAYING IN A TEAM BOOST THE STRENGTH AND CONCEAL THE WEAKNESS.
AS A RESULT
INCREASE THE CONFIDENCE IN A PERSON AND ABLE TO MANAGE ALONE IN THE FUTURE
AS WELL
.
“SO , THAT” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
SO, THAT
INDIVIDUAL CAN PERFORM WELL
FURTHER
IN THE FUTURE.
FOR EXAMPLE
, 60%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
LEARN THEIR LEADERSHIP
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SKILL
AFTER WORKING IN THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GROUP
OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
, NONETHELESS, SOMETIME, DUE TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
EFFORTLESS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
, FEW
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TEND TO HAVE MORE BURDEN.

ON THE OTHER SIDE, INTELLECTUAL LEVEL CAN
BE ACHIEVED
BY THE SOLO ACTIVITY WHERE THE PERSON IS ALONE
Possible spelling mistake found.
RESPONSOIBLE
FOR THE RESULT OF THE ACTION AND HAS NOBODY TO GUIDE. THIS INCREASE THEIR
Possible spelling mistake found.
INDEPENDANCY
WHERE THEY ARE
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'TAKE'.
ABLE TAKE
DECISION
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SOLOLY
.
HENCE
, AFTER PLAYING INDOOR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GAMES
INDIVIDUAL CAN NEVER HAVE FEAR TO STEP AHEAD WITHOUT ANYONE'S ASSISTANCE.
FOR INSTANCE
, 70% OF THE BUSINESSMEN SAYS THAT THEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USED
TO PLAY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
MIND GAME WHICH HAS RISEN UP THEIR MENTAL LEVEL DUE TO WHICH THEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOT
A SUCCESS IN LIFE.

THEREFORE
, I BELIEVE THAT WHETHER IT IS A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GROUP
SPORTS OR A SINGLE, BOTH HAVE ITS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
OWN
BENEFITS AND
HENCE
, I SUGGEST THAT EVERYONE SHOULD PLAY
Possible spelling mistake found.
ATLEAST
ONE SPORT ACCORDING TO THE WEAKNESS.

IN CONCLUSION
, SPORTS
INDEED
PROVIDES MORE PROS
RATHER
THAN SITTING AT ONE PLACE.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
, TO ENCOURAGE
Possible spelling mistake found.
PEOPLLE
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TAKE PART
IN,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOVERNMENT
CAN ARRANGE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
Possible spelling mistake found.
AWARNESS
PROGRAM IN WHICH CONVEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CLEAR
Possible spelling mistake found.
MASSEGE
TO THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The graph below shows the average class size in six countries and compares it with the world average class size in 2006

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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