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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Scientific discoveries should be shared globally, and the government should not keep them as secrets. Use specific details and examples to support your answer. . v.2

: Scientific discoveries should be shared globally, and the government should not keep them as secrets. Use specific details and examples to support your answer. . v. 2
Thanks to appearance of science and technology, an increasing number of people have enjoyed a comfortable lifestyle. Nowadays, some claim that all kinds of scientific discoveries should be equally accessed to all the people around the world. However, I hold an opposite opinion towards such statement. Since scientific discoveries have various kinds and classes, we are supposed to have different strategies when facing different situations. No one can deny the fact that keeping the scientific discoveries linked to military purpose as the secret with the highest level is always been placed in the first place for every government. Peace is an indispensable part of our society, and keeping the military technology as secrets is the one way that builds the balance among the super powers around the globe, like the USA, Russia and China, to avoid some necessary conflicts, which sometimes could lead to a destructive consequence. In addition, if technology of this kind is shared globally, the terrorism could have much more opportunities to master these skills and produce mass destructive weapons. Under this circumstance, it would become extremely difficult or even impossible for any country in the world to protect their citizens' lives and property. So, when it comes to military technology, this knowledge should never be shared. As for other kinds of discoveries, which make significant contributions to humans, they are definitely supposed to be shared without any kinds of blocks. As we all know, advances in medical technology have enabled us to live longer than before. The inventions of antibiotics and vaccines have saved millions of lives. The breakthroughs related to agriculture industry protect most people from starvation. All these achievements attribute to the shearing advanced discoveries. However, there are still many others problems unsolved, like energy shortages, global warming, or environmental pollution. These problems, which have threatened to end people' s lives on our planet, could only be solved by joint efforts around the world, and scientific achievements associated with these challenges should be equally accessed. From what I have mentioned above, when it comes to the knowledge sharing, we can never always value the one strategy more than the other. It is necessary to do a clear judgment and choice the most suitable choice.
Thanks to appearance of science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have enjoyed a comfortable lifestyle. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discoveries
should be
equally
accessed to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world.
However
, I hold an opposite opinion towards such statement. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discoveries
have various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
and classes, we
are supposed
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
strategies when facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations.

No one can deny the fact that keeping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discoveries
linked to military purpose as the secret with the highest level is always
been placed
in the
first
place for every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Peace is an indispensable part of our society, and keeping the military
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as secrets is the one way that builds the balance among the super powers around the globe, like the USA, Russia and China, to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
necessary conflicts, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
could lead to a destructive consequence.
In addition
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
is shared
globally, the terrorism could have much more opportunities to master these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and produce mass destructive weapons. Under this circumstance, it would become
extremely
difficult or even impossible for any country in the world to protect their
Possible spelling mistake found.
citizens&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and property.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to military
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, this knowledge should never
be shared
.

As for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discoveries
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
significant contributions to humans, they are definitely supposed to
be shared
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of blocks. As we all know, advances in medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have enabled us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
longer than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The inventions of antibiotics and vaccines have saved millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. The breakthroughs related to agriculture industry protect most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from starvation. All these achievements attribute to the shearing advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discoveries
.
However
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others problems unsolved, like energy shortages, global warming, or environmental pollution. These problems, which have threatened to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
on our planet, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be solved
by joint efforts around the world, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
achievements associated with these challenges should be
equally
accessed.

From what I have mentioned above, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the knowledge sharing, we can never always value the one strategy more than the other. It is necessary to do a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
judgment and choice the most suitable choice.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay : Scientific discoveries should be shared globally, and the government should not keep them as secrets. Use specific details and examples to support your answer. . v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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