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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older (15 to 18 year-old) teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.716

Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older (15 to 18 year-old) teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 716
In Taiwan, the parents tend to make important decisions for their older teenage children, because it is seems to be traditional that parents are better to choose a good things. However, I think that the parents should give more freedom to their kids. The decisions the kids make can make them grow up and learn more. I will elaborate my point of view in several reasons. The first reason why I support that the parents should let their kids to make important decisions is because of responsibility. More decision the children make, more responsibility they need to take. After that, the children will grow up. Take me as an example. When I was a little child, I don' t like the cloth which my mom bought to me. Sometimes, I felt shame because of wearing them. As I was a teenager, my parent let me to purchase my clothes by myself. In the beginning, I even didn' t know how to choose the right style for me, so I bought something very inappropriate. When I wear the clothes that I take to school, my friends made some jokes about me and I felt very sad. I knew that I should take the responsibility for that, because it was me that make the decision. But I went through it, I learned how to pick the right clothes and grow up. Hence, I think that making a decision is good for teenagers. Second, I think the children can learn more from the decision they make than from their parents make. When I graduated from high school, I was very worry about which university I should go. I searched the information on the internet and also ask my teachers for their advices. I learn a lot of information about the different university in Taiwan, and finally I can find out my favorite one. In the process of making an important decision, we can learn how to find source and how to solve it. It is really cherished for a teenager to grow up. To sum up, making a decision is a good way that children can learn to take their responsibility and solve the problem by their own. I think that child will grow more independent and capable to solve problem.
In Taiwan, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
for their older teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is seems to be traditional that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are better to choose a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "thing"?
things
.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should give more freedom to their kids. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
the kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
up and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more. I will elaborate my point of view in several reasons.

The
first
reason why I support that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their kids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
they need to take. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
up. Take me as an example. When I was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
child, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
which my mom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
to me.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, I felt shame
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of wearing them. As I was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
by myself. In the beginning, I even
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t know how to choose the right style for me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
inappropriate. When I wear the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
that I take to school, my friends made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jokes about me and I felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sad. I knew that I should take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
for that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I went through it, I learned how to pick the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
up.
Hence
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

Second, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
than from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
. When I graduated from high school, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
worry about which university I should go. I searched the information on the internet and
also
ask my teachers for their advices. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
university in Taiwan, and
finally
I can find out my favorite one. In the process of making an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to find source and how to solve it. It is
really
cherished for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
up.

To sum up, making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
and solve the problem by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that child will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grow
more independent and capable to solve problem.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older (15 to 18 year-old) teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 716

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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