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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.1

: Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1
It is said that money makes the world go round. We spend the majority of our waking hours at work - earning a living, providing for our families and saving for our retirement. Although money no doubt plays a critical role in determining the quality and nature of our lifestyles, in my opinion, the size of one’s paycheque is not a measure of one’s success in life. The bases of my views are philosophical, social and personal. Philosophically, success can be defined in myriad ways. For some, success is an external concept to be measured in terms of high income, huge bank balances, fancy cars, expensive mansions, luxurious holidays and so on. However, in my view, success is a reflection of internal human qualities, such as compassion, kindness, honesty, understanding and more. By this definition, the mere fact of earning a high income does not determine or define success. Socially, success depends on how we treat other human beings. Do we regard others with respect or do we impose our will on them? Are we mindful of their needs and desires or do we behave selfishly? Do we encourage and support our friends, family and communities or do we insist they only follow the path we think best? It is clear that a critical aspect of success lies in the answers to such questions for they reveal the quality of relationships we share with our fellow human beings. Personally, success can only be self-defined. My idea of success may not be the same as another person’s vision. This is as it should be. Each of us is a product of diverse social, cultural, economic, political, religious and ideological influences. When we add to that mix the free will that each of us exercises, we can understand clearly how each of us fashions his / her own aspirations for what we consider to be success in our own lives. In conclusion, success is a concept which can be interpreted in a million different ways. Each individual’s version adds to the richness of our world and makes our planet a more delightful, amazing and colourful place to live.
It
is said
that money
makes
the world go round. We spend the majority of our waking hours at work
-
earning a living, providing for our families and saving for our retirement. Although money no doubt plays a critical role in determining the quality and nature of our lifestyles, in my opinion, the size of one’s
paycheque
is not a measure of one’s
success
in life. The bases of my views are philosophical, social and personal.

Philosophically
,
success
can
be defined
in myriad ways. For
some
,
success
is an external concept to
be measured
in terms of high income, huge bank balances, fancy cars, expensive mansions, luxurious holidays and
so
on.
However
, in my view,
success
is a reflection of internal human qualities, such as compassion, kindness, honesty, understanding and more. By this definition, the mere fact of earning a high income does not determine or define success.

Socially
,
success
depends on how we treat other human beings. Do we regard others with respect or do we impose our will on them? Are we mindful of their needs and desires or do we behave
selfishly
? Do we encourage and support our friends, family and communities or do we insist they
only
follow the path we
think
best? It is
clear
that a critical aspect of
success
lies in the answers to such questions for they reveal the quality of relationships we share with our fellow human beings.

Personally
,
success
can
only
be self-defined. My
idea
of
success
may not be the same as another person’s vision. This is as it should be. Each of us is a product of diverse social, cultural, economic, political, religious and ideological influences. When we
add
to that mix the free will that each of us exercises, we can understand
clearly
how each of us fashions his / her
own
aspirations for what we consider to be
success
in our
own
lives
.

In conclusion
,
success
is a concept which can
be interpreted
in a million
different
ways. Each individual’s version
adds
to the richness of our world and
makes
our planet a more delightful, amazing and
colourful
place to
live
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay : Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
356 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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