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Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view. v.4

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. Use specific details and examples to explain your view. v. 4
It's often argued that individual can gain more IQ than compared to people who work together. However, I completely disagree with that opinion and think group activities can improve one's knowledge. So, I would like to add a few reasons below. Firstly, a bunch of people working together can raise individuals subject over a topic because they can share their knowledge and responsibilities while working on a task. We can easily observe that in many companies work can be divided among a group of individuals and also share responsibilities, From a recent survey conducted by the University of Cambridge, researchers came to know that 77 percent of people improved their intellectual knowledge because individuals can focus on the tasks and take responsibility and perform as a group. Secondly, working as a group is fun and increase passion to learn new information. Since I was young, observed that subject courses will be held for a bunch of students in addition to that there will be a serious competition among them. Recently, New York Times conducted a poll, and the results say that students improved subject knowledge in courses due to the competition additionally they made new friends. Lastly, if people work together work can be easily replaced when one left the company. If a person is working on a feature, he might have good knowledge of that feature and another reason might have less knowledge than compared to him. If he moves to another company, then another would find a difficulty to understand about that feature, but if we work as a team then if one left the company then it is easy to transfer knowledge. Since we are kids, we share knowledge, and share ideas. Therefore, I strongly believe that group activities will have higher impact on the individuals in gaining subject than an individual activity because people can share their game plan, tasks and ideas.
It's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can gain more IQ than compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
together.
However
, I completely disagree with that opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
activities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
a few reasons below.

Firstly
, a bunch of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
together can raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
over a topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and responsibilities while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on a task. We can
easily
observe that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
be divided
among a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
responsibilities, From a recent survey conducted by the University of Cambridge, researchers came to know that 77 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their intellectual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can focus on the tasks and take responsibility and perform as a group.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is fun and increase passion to learn new information. Since I was young, observed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
courses will
be held
for a bunch of students
in addition
to that there will be a serious competition among them. Recently, New York Times conducted a poll, and the results say that students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in courses due to the competition
additionally
they made new friends.

Lastly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
together
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can be
easily
replaced when one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. If a person is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on a feature, he might have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of that feature and another reason might have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
than compared to him. If he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, then another would find a difficulty to understand about that feature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a team then if one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
then it is easy to transfer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. Since we are kids, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

Therefore
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
activities will have higher impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
than an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
their game plan, tasks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. Use specific details and examples to explain your view. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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