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8) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

8) Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
I disagreed that only people who earn a lot of money are succesfull. Mony is important thing in the life and the people always do their best to earn money and we need money in diffrent faces of our life. But that is not mean all people who earn alot of money are succesfull for three reasons: First, many people earn money from illegal manner, like a thief he earns a lot of money, did that mean he is succesfull? of coursr not. He takes money from other who spend all the day to bring money. He takes thier happenies, thier rest. Second: some peoples get their money from their family when they dead the money goes to them without work just transfer from parents to thier son or daughter or others. my neigbor was poor man at the last two year he becomes a richest one in my area when his dad passed away he gets his money. so that is not meen he is succesful. he worked for several year at his job but he was earning very little amount of money and then he fired out Because he was so lazy. Third: other people earn thier money and a lot of money by luck, like he playing a game with money then he earns more money from it. I remember my friend when he travels to las vegas, he was playing lottery then he got a million dollar by luck not by his intelegence or by his work he is not succefull he is just playing then he wins money. So, we can not decide by how maney people have, we can' t take a decision that such people are succesful we should see how he advances in his work, how he was poor then by his perseverance becomes the most important person.
I disagreed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesfull
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mony
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing in the life and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always do their best to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
we need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffrent
faces of our life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that is
not mean all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesfull
for three reasons:

First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from illegal manner, like a thief he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, did that mean he is
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesfull
?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
coursr
not. He takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from other who spend all the day to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. He takes
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
Possible spelling mistake found.
happenies
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
rest.

Second:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their family when they dead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
goes to them without work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
transfer from parents to
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
son or daughter or others.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
Possible spelling mistake found.
neigbor
was poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
at the last two year he becomes
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
richest one in my area when his dad passed away he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
that is
not
Possible spelling mistake found.
meen
he is
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesful
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
worked for
Possible agreement error. The noun year seems to be countable; consider using: "several years".
several year
at his job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he was earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
amount of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
then he fired out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
he was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lazy.

Third: other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by luck, like
Did you mean "he's playing", "he is playing", or "he was playing"?
he playing
a game with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
then he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earns
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from it. I remember my friend when he travels to
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
las vegas
, he was playing lottery then he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a million dollar by luck not by his
Possible spelling mistake found.
intelegence
or by his work he is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
succefull
he is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
playing then he wins money.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we can not decide by how
Possible spelling mistake found.
maney
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have, we
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t take a decision that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesful
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how he advances in his work, how he was poor then by his perseverance becomes the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
person.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Mistakes

IELTS essay 8) Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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