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People who try to acquire more than one skill are more likely to become successful than people who just focus on one skill v.1

People who try to acquire more than one skill are more likely to become successful than people who just focus on one skill v. 1
The skill of a person has crucial influence on success in his job. Some people think people who try to acquire more than one skill are more likely to become successful than people who just focus on one skill. However, from my perspective, it depends on the work’s category and the job’s property. On one hand, trying to acquire more than one skill is important for some careers which need substantial personal interaction every day, such as teachers. To be more concrete, teachers contact with not only students, but colleagues and predecessors. They have to give lessons to students, have discusssions with colleagues and report work to predecessors. Teaching ability and social competence are both required in this work. If the teacher does not have a high ability of education, he is not a qualified teacher; If he does not have a high competence of cooperation, he will feel tough in the teacher’s office. Therefore, trying to acquire more than one skill is of importance sometimes. On the other hand, focusing on one skill sometimes is extremely significant for some work which need high concentration and accuracy, such as scientists. To be more specific, scientists are supposed to concentrate one project in a period. Developing other skills demands much time and energy which is precious for scientists. Because focusing on one skill, ensure the accuracy of the experiments consumes too much for them. Having a grasp of other skill is virtually a distration for them. There is no need to master things which are not required in their work. On the contrary, if they try to learn other abilities, they probably make many mistakes in their own work because people’s concentration is limited. You should not require worthless things to them anymore. So, focusing on one skill can be crucial and advisable sometimes. To put it in a nut shell, the statement that people who try to acquire more than one skill are more likely to become successful than people who just focus on one skill cannot hold water. We should put it into concrete jobs because different job’s requirements and properties are different.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of a person has crucial influence on success in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acquire
more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
are more likely to become successful than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
However
, from my perspective, it depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work’s
category and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job’s
property.

On one hand, trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acquire
more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
careers which need substantial personal interaction every day, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. To be more concrete,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
contact with not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
students,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
colleagues and predecessors. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give lessons to students, have
Possible spelling mistake found.
discusssions
with colleagues and report
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to predecessors. Teaching ability and social competence are both required in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
does not have a high ability of education, he is not a qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
; If he does not have a high competence of cooperation, he will feel tough in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
office.
Therefore
, trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acquire
more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is of importance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, focusing on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
is
extremely
significant for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which need high concentration and accuracy, such as scientists. To be more specific, scientists
are supposed
to concentrate one project in a period. Developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
demands much time and energy which is precious for scientists.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
focusing on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, ensure the accuracy of the experiments consumes too much for them. Having a grasp of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is
virtually
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
distration
for them. There is no need to master things which are not required in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
On the contrary
, if they try to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
abilities, they
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mistakes in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
concentration
is limited
. You should not require worthless things to them anymore.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, focusing on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
can be crucial and advisable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

To put it in a nut shell, the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acquire
more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
are more likely to become successful than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
cannot hold water. We should put it into concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job’s
requirements and properties are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People who try to acquire more than one skill are more likely to become successful than people who just focus on one skill v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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