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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement It s better to spend money enjoying life like going on vacation than to save money for the future v.1

It s better to spend money enjoying life like going on vacation than to save money for the future v. 1
The role of one government to support citizens of other countries has been a major topic of concern in today’s society. From my perspective, this practice is feasible and there are compelling reasons why governments should help people in the global community rather than only focusing on the citizens of their own countries. In this context of globalisation and international integration, the provision of assistance to peoples of all countries in the world is not an impossible task anymore. One explanation for this is that modern means of transport have transformed the way that international assistance could be given, and now assistance could reach even the most remote places on Earth. For example, thousands of victims of a deadly earthquake in a mountainous city in Nepal were rescued by US and German military helicopters in 2014. One further explanation is that thanks to international banking, the international community could offer a helping hand to any country where the financial system is on the verge of collapse. An excellent example of this is that the saving money of millions of taxpayers and pensioners in Greece was saved by a timely act of the European Commission of injecting a huge amount of bailout money into Greek banks in 2009. I strongly believe any government must assume the responsibility of helping citizens in other countries. This is mainly because assisting inhabitants in other countries, to some extent, is synonymous to assisting people in the home country. In 2014, hundreds of US and UK doctors and nurses were sent to African countries to cope with the outbreak of Ebola, a dreadful plague, which had killed many thousands by that time. This action prevented the plague from further spreading to other nations, including the US and the UK themselves, considering that there was a free movement of people between countries and there were millions of African migrant workers in the US and the UK at that time. In addition, the act of supporting people all around the world may promote a sense of humanity, which is essential to the sustainable development of the world, because humanity is the foundation of peace and stability. To conclude, governments must provide assistance for citizens of other countries for a clear reason that this feasible act could simultaneously enhance a global sense of humanity and assure their own nationals of a proper living environment.
The role of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has been a major topic of concern in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society. From my perspective, this practice is feasible and there are compelling reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the global community
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries.

In this context of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
integration, the provision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world is not an impossible task anymore. One explanation for this is that modern means of transport have transformed the way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
could reach even the most remote places on Earth.
For example
, thousands of victims of a deadly earthquake in a mountainous city in Nepal
were rescued
by US and German military helicopters in 2014. One
further
explanation is that thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
banking, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
community could offer a helping hand to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where the financial system is on the verge of collapse. An excellent example of this is that the saving money of millions of taxpayers and pensioners in Greece
was saved
by a timely act of the European Commission of injecting a huge amount of bailout money into Greek banks in 2009.

I
strongly
believe any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
assume the responsibility of helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
assisting inhabitants in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, is synonymous to assisting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In 2014, hundreds of US and UK doctors and nurses were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to cope with the outbreak of Ebola, a dreadful plague, which had killed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
thousands by that time. This action
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
the plague from
further
spreading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations, including the US and the UK themselves, considering that there was a free movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and there were millions of African migrant workers in the US and the UK at that time.
In addition
, the act of supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the world may promote a sense of humanity, which is essential to the sustainable development of the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
humanity is the foundation of peace and stability.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assistance
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
reason that this feasible act could
simultaneously
enhance a global sense of humanity and assure their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nationals of a proper living environment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay It s better to spend money enjoying life like going on vacation than to save money for the future v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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