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In many countries government spend a lot of money in improving internet access. Why is it happening? Do you think it is the most appropriate use of government money? v.1

In many countries government spend a lot of money in improving internet access. Why is it happening? Do you think it is the most appropriate use of government money? v. 1
Ameliorating the internet infrastructure by allotting astronomical proportion of the national budget is common in many nations, especially developed countries. Various causative factors are being held responsible for this trend. Although it seems an advantageous approach, I strongly hold a belief that it is not judicious decision to spend such a huge amount of public funds on availing internet access. It is easy to comprehend why this investment is favoured by the regime of wealthier nations. The preponderant reason is that the availability of online network not only proves beneficial for individuals, but also assists in the smooth functioning of the governments’ official work. If every citizen, whether he is working or non-working has the access of web, he would be updated with the vast information such as current political scenario, weather updates and even he will be acquainted with his rights; consequently, accessibility of the internet connection provides assistance to broaden the horizon of people. Besides, state incumbents give preference to keep the records of official work online, replacing the manual work which results in efficient management of the records. Thus, investing in the development of internet facility is acknowledged to be a beneficial approach. Despite these benefits, I do not see eye to eye with this proposal. There are many other pressing issues such as poverty, educational sector, health care facilities, and employment which require immediate attention of authorities. Government needs to assign budget on providing the basic amenities to the underprivileged people in order to bolster the standard of the country. Who wants to access the internet when he is dying because of scarcity of food? Conclusively, despite the fact, that investment of public grant for the improvement in the network connection is regarded as a boon in terms of spreading awareness and smooth execution of work, I firmly consider it as a squander of public money.
Ameliorating the internet infrastructure by allotting astronomical proportion of the national budget is common in
many
nations,
especially
developed countries
. Various causative factors are
being held
responsible for this trend. Although it seems an advantageous approach, I
strongly
hold a belief that it is not judicious decision to spend such a huge amount of public funds on availing internet access.

It is easy to comprehend why this investment is
favoured
by the regime of wealthier nations. The preponderant reason is that the availability of online network not
only
proves beneficial for individuals,
but
also
assists in the smooth functioning of the
governments
’ official
work
. If every citizen, whether he is working or non-working has the access of web, he would
be updated
with the vast information such as
current
political scenario, weather updates and even he will
be acquainted
with his rights;
consequently
, accessibility of the internet connection provides assistance to broaden the horizon of
people
.
Besides
, state incumbents give preference to
keep
the records of official
work
online, replacing the manual
work
which results in efficient management of the records.
Thus
, investing in the development of internet facility
is acknowledged
to be a beneficial approach.

Despite these benefits, I do not
see
eye to eye with this proposal. There are
many
other pressing issues such as poverty, educational sector, health care facilities, and employment which require immediate attention of authorities.
Government
needs to assign budget on providing the basic amenities to the underprivileged
people
in order to bolster the standard of the country. Who wants to access the internet when he is dying
because
of scarcity of food?

Conclusively
, despite the fact, that investment of public grant for the improvement in the network connection
is regarded
as a boon in terms of spreading awareness and smooth execution of
work
, I
firmly
consider it as
a squander
of public money.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries government spend a lot of money in improving internet access. Why is it happening? Do you think it is the most appropriate use of government money? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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