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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: "It is better to read books on an electronic device then it is to read traditional books on paper v.1

: "It is better to read books on an electronic device then it is to read traditional books on paper v. 1
In todays generation, with the growing technology and changing lifestyle we have incurred various options and choices in our lives. In the following discussion, I shall be highlighting the advantages and drawback of the option we have welcomed in our lives. As with the new mode of human style, and changes in the technology we have developed many choices for yourself and we have learned to live with a lifestyle. As we have many benefits of new outlook. For instance, Selecting things have made our life more effective by helping us know the details of any product we purchase. We did not have much of an option to look and select. And we use to buy what we wanted. We utilised the only item available in the market. That had made our life monotonous. The important benefits of having a variety of products, goods or services is we can filter it and understand the product completely before making a deal for it and compare it with multiple items. Which gives us a clear picture about the thing which we need to purchase. For example: If we want to buy a mobile phone in todays generation, we have so many available phones of different other company that we can compare the feature among themselves and understand it, Like the battery capacity, Ram, operating system and storage capacity and according to our needs and usage we can make a choice. Consequently, there are certain sets, back of having multiple options in one's life. It makes human beings more confusing to select anything and it happens so that, person delays the process. To conclude, I would say having choices is beneficial for entire mankind.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
generation, with the growing technology and changing lifestyle we have incurred various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
and choices in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In the following discussion, I shall be highlighting the advantages and drawback of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
we have welcomed in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

As with the new mode of human style, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the technology we have developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
yourself and
we have learned to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with a lifestyle.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of new outlook.

For instance
, Selecting things have made our life more effective by helping us know the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of any product we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. We did not have much of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
to look and select. And we
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what we wanted. We
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
item available in the market. That had made our life monotonous. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefits of having a variety of products,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
or services is we can filter it and understand the product completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a deal for it and compare it with multiple items.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
gives us a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
picture about the thing which we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
For example
: If we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a mobile phone in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
generation, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
available phones of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that we can compare the feature among themselves and understand it, Like the battery capacity, Ram, operating system and storage capacity and according to our needs and usage we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a choice.

Consequently
, there are certain sets, back of having multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
in one's life. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
human beings more confusing to select anything and it happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, person delays the process.

To conclude
, I would say having choices is beneficial for entire mankind.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay : "It is better to read books on an electronic device then it is to read traditional books on paper v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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