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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement grades encourage students to learn Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v.1

grades encourage students to learn Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 1
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of people from types of families who contributed voluntarily to New Zealand's sports organizations in 2010. The pie chart provides the information about the type of work done by volunteers during this period. Overall, the highest percentage of cooperation in activities is related to couples with dependent children. According to the bar chart, the lowest percentage of volunteers for sport organization was from single parent families. In fact, it accounted only for 10. 9 per cent. The proportion of Couples with no children is 26. 9 per cent, which is approximately, double the one for other households by 12. 4. Volunteers from families of couples with children reached the highest rate at 49. 8 per cent, which is five times as high as the one for one parent family. As can be seen from the pie chart, the vast majority of volunteers at sport organizations were working as coaches, instructors or teachers, 206, 000 people did this type of work. The second-highest proportion accounted for approximately 158, 000 volunteers who did administrative or committee jobs. Combined with Referees and umpires, medical support made up an equivalent proportion of Committee member or administer in general standing at 62, 700 on its own. While the number of Scorer or timekeeper is about double the number of the mentioned previous group, which is 128, 000. In conclusion, the lowest percentage of volunteers is related to one parent family. Moreover, of those he helped in a sports organization, the majority is volunteering to teach or instruct.
The bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
illustrates the
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proportion
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from types of
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families
who contributed
voluntarily
to New Zealand's
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sports
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organizations
in 2010. The pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
provides the information about the type of work done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
during this period.
Overall
, the highest percentage of cooperation in activities
is related
to couples with dependent children.

According to the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, the lowest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
for
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sport
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organization
was from single parent
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families
. In fact, it accounted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for 10. 9 per cent. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of Couples with no children is 26. 9 per cent, which is approximately, double the one for other households by 12. 4.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Volunteers
from
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families
of couples with children reached the highest rate at 49. 8 per cent, which is five times as high as the one for one parent family.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
were working as coaches, instructors or teachers, 206, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
did this type of work. The second-highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
accounted for approximately 158, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
who did administrative or committee jobs. Combined with Referees and umpires, medical support made up an equivalent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of Committee member or administer
in general
standing at 62, 700 on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. While the number of Scorer or timekeeper is about double the number of the mentioned previous group, which is 128, 000.

In conclusion
, the lowest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
is related
to one parent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Moreover
, of those he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
, the majority is volunteering to teach or instruct.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay grades encourage students to learn Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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