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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.379

Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 379
I think it is beneficial that goods like food, cars, furniture and clothes that are produced in a certain part of the world are now available almost everywhere, which means the similarities between various countries are growing. A reason is that people in different regions now have access to products they could not use before. There are numerous goods that are produced only in certain parts of the world, which means that people living in other places could not normally take advantage of them in the past. For example, bananas and pineapples are grown in tropical countries and so, did not use to be available to consumers in colder countries like Russia and Canada. Nevertheless, most people in such countries are now able to buy and eat these beneficial fruits. Furthermore, people today can migrate to different countries with less fear of becoming homesick since the products they are used to being now available in shops almost wherever they go. For instance, Iranian immigrants could not cook their national dish, Ghormesabzi, in other parts of the globe because the specific vegetables required were not farmed and grown in most other countries. However, as they can access all these ingredients in shops and supermarkets around the world today, they can work and live more productively because they do not miss a significant part of their cultural heritage anymore. In conclusion, I believe the growing similarity between countries around the world, which have resulted from the availability of goods produced elsewhere, is a desirable development. People can now take advantage of beneficial goods from other countries, and immigrants can be less stressful and more productive.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is beneficial that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
like food, cars, furniture and clothes that
are produced
in a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
available almost everywhere, which means the similarities between various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are growing.

A reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
have access to products they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. There are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
that
are produced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, which means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places could not
normally
take advantage of them in the past.
For example
, bananas and pineapples
are grown
in tropical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, did not
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
be available to consumers in colder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Russia and Canada.
Nevertheless
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and eat these beneficial fruits.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
can migrate to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with less fear of becoming homesick since the products they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
available in shops almost wherever they go.
For instance
, Iranian immigrants could not cook their national dish,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ghormesabzi
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of the globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the specific vegetables required were not farmed and grown in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, as they can access all these ingredients in shops and supermarkets around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, they can work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more
productively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not miss a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of their cultural heritage anymore.

In conclusion
, I believe the growing similarity between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, which have resulted from the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
produced elsewhere, is a desirable development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
take advantage of beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and immigrants can be less stressful and more productive.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 379

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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