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Agree or disagree? Getting advice from friends who are older than you is most valuable than getting advice from friends your same age. v.2

Agree or disagree? Getting advice from friends who are older than you is most valuable than getting advice from friends your same age. v. 2
Learning from friends is always the most efficient method to improve ourself. Some people prefer to get advice from friends at their age, while others prefer getting advice from friends who are older than them. In my opinion, I prefer the latter choice. To begin with, we can solve the problem more effectively because friends who are older than us will view things from a different view-point. When they look things in a different way, we will be able to find out more problems and figure out solutions to solve these problems. For example, when I was in high school, I often need to deal with many group projects. We always like to went to others' house to work on the projects together. When I was facing any difficulties, instead of asking my group members, I asked their older brothers or sisters to help. They always gave me some astonishing view points or problems of the project that I never thought of before. Therefore, I found out that by asking friends who are older than me can I understand more problems of my project. As a result, it can be a lot more efficient for me to solve the problem and improve the quality of the project. Thus, because of this reason, I personally believe that it is better to get advice from friends who are older than me. In addition, if we get advice from friends who are older than us, we can also learn a lot from them. For example, since I am a high school student now, for me, older friends means that they should already start attending college or work. Therefore, most of them will know more than me. Since they are highly educated, they will be able to give me a possible explanation about the reason why they suggest me this advice. As a result, I will not only receive the better choice, but also learn about why do they think so. On the other hand, if people get advice from friends at their age, they may still get an advice, but not with an explanation because friends at the same age as them do not have the ability to do so. Therefore, since we can both learn and get a better advice from older friends, this is the reason why I prefer this idea. Undoubtedly, some people may say that it is better to learn from friends at the same age, because since they are all at a similar situation, they will be able to solve the problem more easily. However, I think it is because they are at a similar situation so they can not solve the problem effectively. They might miss some problem because they all think in the same way. As a result, people at an older age will look things in a different point of view, so they will be more likely to solve the problem. Therefore, I prefer to get ideas and learn from friends who are older than me.
Learning from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is always the most efficient method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
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prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from
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friends
at their
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age
, while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
getting
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advice
from
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friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
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older
than
In formal / written English, it is recommended that you use a subject pronoun.
them
. In my opinion, I
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prefer
the latter choice.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we can
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solve
the
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problem
more
effectively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
than us will view things from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
view-point. When they look things in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way, we will be able to find out more
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problems
and figure out solutions to
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solve
these
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problems
.
For example
, when I was in high school, I
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often
need to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
group
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projects
. We always like to went to
Possible spelling mistake found.
others&
#039;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to work on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
together. When I was facing any difficulties,
instead
of asking my group members, I asked their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
brothers or sisters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. They always gave me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
astonishing view points or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of the
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project
that I never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
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Therefore
, I found out that by asking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
than me can I understand more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
.
As a result
, it can be a lot more efficient for me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
.
Thus
,
because of this
reason, I
personally
believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
than
In formal / written English, it is recommended that you use a subject pronoun.
me
.

In addition
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
than us, we can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a lot from them.
For example
, since I am a high school student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, for me,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
means that they should already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
attending college or work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, most of them will know more than me. Since they are
highly
educated, they will be able to give me a possible explanation about the reason why they suggest me this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
.
As a result
, I will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
receive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
choice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about why do they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, they may
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
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advice
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not with an explanation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
as them do not have the ability to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
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Therefore
, since we can both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
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better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, this is the reason why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Undoubtedly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may say that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
since they are all at a similar situation, they will be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
more
easily
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are at a similar situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can not
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solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
effectively
. They might miss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in the same way
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
will look things in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
point of view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will be more likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
than
In formal / written English, it is recommended that you use a subject pronoun.
me
.
27Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
85Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Agree or disagree? Getting advice from friends who are older than you is most valuable than getting advice from friends your same age. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
501 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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