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In some cultures old people are more valued, while in other cultures the youth is more valued. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

In some cultures old people are more valued, while in other cultures the youth is more valued. v. 1
Everyone's goal to be fit with a healthy mind and body, and today's society is being more conscious about leading a healthy lifestyle. Despite whatever scientist's advice, about what is good and bad for our body, still people continue to do unhealthy activities. In my opinion, the main cause for this is being addicted to substance abuse, and the apt solution is education and therapy, which will be further discussed in this essay. To begin with, activities such as smoking and drinking are sill continued by a large proportion of people, despite being aware of its ill effects. In cigarettes the substance nicotine causes addiction, while in alcohol, it is due to dependance. Easy availability and peer pressure are the main reasons for this dependance. Moreover, another ill habit to be noted is that of chewing tobacco, leading to dental and oral cancers. People have been following this activity generations back and is still considered as part of a culture in some regions. For instance, in Bihar it is a custom that guests should chew pan, as a sign of gesture of accepting their hospitality. However, various steps can be taken to take care of these issues. One of which is, to rehabilitate people who are addicted to drinking, by being admitted at de-addiction centres. In these centres, the patient would undergo a series of counselling and medical therapies. Whereas, in the case of nicotine, other than educating its side effects other measures are to be implemented. In which, nicotine in cigarettes needs to be replaced with nicotine gums or patches, where eventually their dependance can be reduced with time. In conclusion, even though people are aware of the drawbacks of an unhealthy lifestyle they continue with it due to its dependance. But, these habits can be curbed to an extent by counselling and rehabilitation.
Everyone's goal to
be fit
with a healthy mind and body, and
today
's society is being more conscious about leading a healthy lifestyle. Despite whatever scientist's advice, about what is
good
and
bad
for our body,
still
people
continue to do unhealthy activities. In my opinion, the main cause for this is
being addicted
to substance abuse, and the apt solution is education and therapy, which will be
further
discussed in this essay.

To
begin
with, activities such as smoking and drinking are sill continued by a large proportion of
people
, despite being aware of its ill effects. In cigarettes the substance nicotine causes addiction, while in alcohol, it is due to
dependance
. Easy availability and peer pressure are the main reasons for this
dependance
.
Moreover
, another ill habit to
be noted
is that of chewing tobacco, leading to dental and oral cancers.
People
have been following this activity generations back and is
still
considered as part of a culture in
some
regions.
For instance
, in Bihar it is a custom that guests should chew pan, as a
sign
of gesture of accepting their hospitality.

However
, various steps can
be taken
to take care of these issues. One of which is, to rehabilitate
people
who
are addicted
to drinking, by
being admitted
at
de-addiction
centres
. In these
centres
, the patient would undergo a series of counselling and medical therapies. Whereas, in the case of nicotine, other than educating its side effects other measures are to
be implemented
. In which, nicotine in cigarettes needs to
be replaced
with nicotine gums or patches, where
eventually
their
dependance
can be
reduced
with time.

In conclusion
,
even though
people
are aware of the drawbacks of an unhealthy lifestyle they continue with it due to its
dependance
.
But
, these habits can
be curbed
to an extent by counselling and rehabilitation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In some cultures old people are more valued, while in other cultures the youth is more valued. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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