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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Cars have made a greater impact on society than airplanesUse specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v.852

Cars have made a greater impact on society than airplanesUse specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 852
Waking up at home located around the suburb area, driving to the workplace at the metropolitan city, and taking a short road trip to nearby mountain on the weekend. Sounds like a typical everyday lives of many modern people. Can you imagine a life like this without a car? I bet you cannot. Throughout the history, a variety of means for transportation has been invented, but non them has affected our lives as the cars do. Therefore, I agree with the statement that cars have influenced society more greatly than airplanes because of two reasons: cars have changed peoples’ everyday lives and had impact on greater number of people than airplanes. First of all, following the invention and dissemination of cars, many of the city’s problems have solved. For example, the overpopulation problem of the metropolis city centers is solved as people become to be able to move a further distance in a much shorter time with their cars, and be able to commute from further distance. According to a population research of Seoul city held by the governmental research institute, the population of the satellite cities surrounding Seoul has grown over 30% after cars have been widely disseminated, following with 20% decreased population of Seoul city center. Another example of car solving city’s problem is that they contributed to lessen the unemployment rates. To be specific, a variety of jobs followed with the emergence of cars. Not only the labor needed to produce cars in factories, but also cities needed huge construction works to be done. With that, cars make it easier for unemployed people to find a new job. That being said, cars have a huge impact on our daily lives, and society. It is true that the airplanes were a revolutionary invention that eliminated the barrier between countries and connected the world. However, that revolutionary impact was put on much smaller number of people, compared to cars. When we think of taking an airplane to somewhere, the experience itself is considered a special one. It is hard to deny that the price of taking airplane is still very high, and even for some people, it is high enough to giving up taking one. There are still many people who have never been to the airport. On the other hand, almost everyone had ride a car, eventhough they do not possess one. Riding a bus, or a taxi is now so common and cheap, so it is making many more peoples’ lives convenient. Therefore, considering the number of people who are using the vehicle and actually get a benefit from it, cars have much more influence on our society then airplane. In conclusion, cars inserted much more impact to our society than airplanes, in a way that they solve a variety of city problems, and that they reach out to almost everyone.
Waking up at home located around the suburb area, driving to the workplace at the metropolitan city, and taking a short road trip to nearby mountain on the weekend. Sounds like a typical everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Can you imagine a life like this without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
? I bet you cannot. Throughout the history, a variety of means for transportation has
been invented
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
non them has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
do.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have influenced society more
greatly
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplanes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on greater number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than airplanes.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, following the invention and dissemination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the city’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
have solved.
For example
, the overpopulation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of the metropolis city centers
is solved
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
a
further
distance in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
shorter time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, and be able to commute from
further
distance. According to a population research of Seoul city held by the governmental research institute, the population of the satellite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
surrounding Seoul has grown over 30% after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have been
widely
disseminated, following with 20% decreased population of Seoul city center. Another example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
solving city’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that they contributed to lessen the unemployment rates. To be specific, a variety of jobs followed with the emergence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the labor needed to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in factories,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
needed huge construction works to
be done
. With that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier for unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find a new job. That
being said
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, and society.

It is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplanes
were a revolutionary invention that eliminated the barrier between countries and connected the world.
However
, that revolutionary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
was put
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
smaller number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of taking an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplane
to somewhere, the experience itself
is considered
a special one. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to deny that the price of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplane
is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high, and even for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it is high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to giving up taking one. There are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have never been to the airport.
On the other hand
, almost everyone had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "ridden".
ride
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
they do not possess one. Riding a bus, or a taxi is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
convenient.
Therefore
, considering the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are using the vehicle and actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a benefit from it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more influence on our society then airplane.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
inserted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
to our society than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplanes
, in a way that they solve a variety of city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, and that they reach out to almost everyone.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Cars have made a greater impact on society than airplanesUse specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 852

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
474 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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