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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern agriculture does damage the environment, but providing food for the growing population around the world is more important than protecting the environment. v.821

Modern agriculture does damage the environment, but providing food for the growing population around the world is more important than protecting the environment. v. 821
Nowadays the population around the world is increased because of improvement of technologies for providing food and health services, and the death of people because of different natural events is reduced. No one can cast a shadow of doubt on the fact that environment has a significance role in our life. People should attempt to protect it for the better life. Not all people concur when this issue arises. Being cognizant to the logic behind those who endorse or repudiate the legitimacy of this contention, not having any biased perception, I presume that reduced damages to the environment are more important than obtaining food by disuse of it for the today’s big population. Among a plentitude of reasons in support of this assertion, our responsibility for next generations and unusual natural events bring up by the environment' s abuses could be picked out for further analysis. To commence with, a consensus has yet to be reached; however, regarding our duties on providing proper situations for future people, based upon the statistics of different general questionnaires of sundry countries, people are unanimous about the conviction that environment is a gift to us from the past which we should use it in right way without making any harmful damage on it. Indeed, all people attempts to providing a better condition for their children. Furthermore, our children need some valuable resources to produce for and continuing their life the same as us. Although food is essential need when the population is increased, people could increase an efficiency of their lands and their accessible water and soil resources by controlling it and using the modern method in agriculture. For instance, farm ers could use the new method of irrigation such as a saving-tube method for conserving water, reduce using of chemical fertilizer instead of organing material. The disregarding of this method will cause irregulatable damages to resources and will convey them dried and out of use for future. In addition to the reason raised above; harmful effects of environment abusing could also substantiate the justifiability of the claim made at the outset of this essay. In conjunction with public belief, effects of modern agriculture change the temperature of the earth dramatically. The amounts of greenhouses gasses are increased. In addition, this unpredictable changes could make some storms and drying season on the earth which people should tolerate huge damages and also enhance people’s death because of this events. A vivid example can be given to shed light on what was elaborated above. The results of a study carried out by Rice University’s graduate students unveiled that global warming of the earth will destroy large areas of Amazon forest in 100 years later. These results show that protection of the environment has priority to increased food production by new agriculture techniques. Drawing upon of the above reasons, discreetly put, as far as my personal perspective on the topic is concerned, I reiterate that we should protection of the environment is more vital than food production for enhancing world’s population. Not only we are responsible for future generations but also we could avoid some catastrophic phenomena which cause the death.
Nowadays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
around the world is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of improvement of technologies for providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and health services, and the death of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
natural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. No one can cast a shadow of doubt on the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
has a significance role in our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should attempt to protect it for the better life. Not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
concur when this issue arises. Being cognizant to the logic behind those who endorse or repudiate the legitimacy of this contention, not having any biased perception, I presume that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
damages to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than obtaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by disuse of it for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. Among a
Possible spelling mistake found.
plentitude
of reasons in support of this assertion, our responsibility for
next
generations and unusual natural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
bring up by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
environment&
#039; s abuses could
be picked
out for
further
analysis.

To commence with, a consensus has
yet
to
be reached
;
however
, regarding our duties on providing proper situations for future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, based upon the statistics of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
general questionnaires of sundry countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unanimous about the conviction that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is a gift to us from the past which we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in right way without making any harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
on it.
Indeed
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
attempts
to providing a better condition for their children.
Furthermore
, our children need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable resources to produce for and continuing their life the same as us. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is essential need when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could increase an efficiency of their lands and their accessible water and soil resources by controlling it and using the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
in agriculture.
For instance
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
farm


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ers
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
of irrigation such as a saving-tube
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
for conserving water,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
using of chemical fertilizer
instead
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
organing
material. The disregarding of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
will cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
irregulatable
damages to resources and will convey them dried and out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for future.

In addition
to the reason raised above; harmful effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
abusing could
also
substantiate the
Possible spelling mistake found.
justifiability
of the claim made at the outset of this essay. In conjunction with public belief, effects of modern agriculture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the temperature of the earth
dramatically
. The amounts of greenhouses gasses are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
.
In addition
, this unpredictable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
storms and drying season on the earth which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should tolerate huge damages and
also
enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
death
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Did you mean "these"?
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. A vivid example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on what
was elaborated
above. The results of a study carried out by Rice University’s graduate students unveiled that global warming of the earth will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
large areas of Amazon forest in 100 years later. These results
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that protection of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
has priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production by new agriculture techniques.

Drawing upon of the above reasons,
discreetly
put, as far as my personal perspective on the topic
is concerned
, I reiterate that we should protection of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is more vital than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production for enhancing world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
we are responsible for future generations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
we could avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
catastrophic phenomena which cause the death.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern agriculture does damage the environment, but providing food for the growing population around the world is more important than protecting the environment. v. 821

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
524 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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