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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? IIProfessional athletes, such as football and basketballplayers, do not deserve the high salaries that they arepaid. v.774

IIProfessional athletes, such as football and basketballplayers, do not deserve the high salaries that they arepaid. v. 774
By and large, in todays era, professional athletes are of great position in any society since the sport convert to a bussiness, they are the people who lead this bussinesses. Also, leaders of big bussinesses, they usually are paid high salaries and they are always under the magnifying glass. In this regard, some controversies always arise whether they deserve the high salaries or not. Although many people think that the professional athletes do not deserve the high salaries that they are paid, personally, I believe that they definitely merit it. In the following lines, I will present and investigate two reasons to substantiate my response. The first reason is that professional ones of every sport field, devote their life to sport. In other words, they should practice long hours a day for a long time, and these practices usually are usually in places such as camps that also bring about that the athletes be seprated from their families. Likewise, they deal with sport from a very little age, that inhibit them to study like others. While every one find their position in the society as a result of their studies, as doctors or engineers, these athletes definitely should see the outcomes of their hard work and efforts with a high salaries. For instance, consider a child boy who really like football and want to be a professional one in the future, he should be present in group practices and allocate much time to his sport field to could be a good one in the future. This can cause a dropin his educational level, and eventually, he will not continue his study. In the future, he should be valued for all these efforts and hardship that he sustained. The second noteworthy reason that confirms athletes should be paid high salaries is that they could get irrecoverable injuries. All careers has their own risks, but hardly do they cause any major problem for people' s health. Whereas, sport players are always suseptible to seroius injuries. More than all other bussinesses, sport is a competition, and in it people would injure each other even they do not really want to do. Moreover, many injuries can occure in a high and seroius degrees that can cause end of one' s professional sport life. Because this types of injuries are not prophetic, these high salaries are not gauraneed for one' s whole life. Therefore, these they should be paid fairly as long as they could paly. To illustrate, consider same example, the boy after withstanding long periods of being an amateur, when start to play as a professional one, can injure in second year of his professional life, and he do not have any other skill to could continue his life. Thus he should was paid drunig his period of prosperity that could continue his life for a while to could learn other skills. In summary, having analyzed the reasons above, one could surmise that the professional athletes should have high incomes. Because not only do they sacrifice their life for sport but also they could be inhibited by hard injuries.
By and large, in
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todays
era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
are of great position in any society since the
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sport
convert to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
, they are the
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people
who lead this
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bussinesses
.
Also
, leaders of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussinesses
, they
The adverb 'usually' usually goes after the verb 'are'.
usually are
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paid
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high
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
salaries and
they are always under the magnifying glass. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
controversies always arise whether they deserve the
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
or not. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
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professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
do not deserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
that they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
,
personally
, I believe that they definitely merit it. In the following lines, I will present and investigate two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to substantiate my response.

The
first
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reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
ones of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
field, devote their
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life
to
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sport
. In
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other
words, they should practice
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long
hours a day for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
time, and these practices
usually
are
usually
in places such as camps that
also
bring about that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
seprated
from their families.
Likewise
, they deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
age, that inhibit them to study like others. While every one find their position in the society
as a result
of their studies, as doctors or engineers, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
definitely should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the outcomes of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and efforts with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "salary"?
salaries
.
For instance
, consider a child boy who
really
like football and want to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
one in the future, he should be present in group practices and allocate much time to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
field to could be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
one in the future. This can cause a
Possible spelling mistake found.
dropin
his educational level, and
eventually
, he will not continue his study. In the future, he should
be valued
for all these efforts and hardship that he sustained.

The second noteworthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that confirms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
is that they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
irrecoverable
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injuries
. All careers
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
hardly do they cause any major problem for
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s health.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
players are always
Possible spelling mistake found.
suseptible
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
seroius
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
. More than all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussinesses
,
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sport
is a competition, and in it
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people
would injure each
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other
even they do not
really
want to do.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
can
Possible spelling mistake found.
occure
in a
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high
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
seroius
degrees that can cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
this types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
are not prophetic, these
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
are not
Possible spelling mistake found.
gauraneed
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
, these they should be
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paid
fairly
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
as they could
Possible spelling mistake found.
paly
. To illustrate, consider same example, the boy after withstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
periods of being an amateur, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to play as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
one, can injure in second year of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "does", "did".
do
not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to could continue his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
he should
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
was
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paid
Possible spelling mistake found.
drunig
his period of prosperity that could continue his
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life
for a while to could learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In summary, having analyzed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
above, one could surmise that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
incomes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they sacrifice their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they could
be inhibited
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
injuries
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
71Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay IIProfessional athletes, such as football and basketballplayers, do not deserve the high salaries that they arepaid. v. 774

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
516 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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