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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Professional athletes, such as football and basketball player, do not deserve the high salaries that they are paid. v.745

Professional athletes, such as football and basketball player, do not deserve the high salaries that they are paid. v. 745
As some people may hold the view that the professional athletes should earn a huge amount of money since they deserve that; however, some others take an opposite viewpoint and believe that the athletes' high wages are unfair. I personally agree with the second belief. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons which persuade me to put forward this perspective. The first exquisite reason which advocates my idea is that they are not well-educated. Most of the masterly sportsmen do not have the diploma of graduated education. They study just in the high schools and after that devoid the big portion of their times to the physical schooling. On the other hand, the big ratios of society who possess a professional occupation spend more than four years to gain the sufficient and appropriate base and knowledge for their tasks. In this unbalance condition, which athletes do not afford the required training system, the sportsmen earn more than those who spend the best and important span of their life for the education. Hence, it illustrates the unjust salary devotion. The second reason is the negative effect of these promoted incomes in the society. As the athletes earn a huge amount of the money for their functions which do not have any productivity in the society, most of the young people are inclined to participate in this kind of activities. Thus, it threats the country' s productivities and financial income resources. According to the noteworthy and intelligible survey conducted in my country, approximately sixty nine percent of the teenagers at the high schools of Tehran are willing to become the professional athletes. Consequently, it depicts the economic crisis which our country will face in the remote future as a result of deficient experts in the industrial fields. The last reason which confirms the accuracy of my viewpoint is sometimes they do not do their job in the best way. As the athletes assign the contract the salaries and incomes are guaranteed. There are no any factors to blind their wage source. They gain the money either they win the match or not. In some situation, based upon their health or emotional problems they are not motivated to present their best function. However, they obtain that specific amount of money. A vivid example can be given to shed light on the subject is our country' s star football player. In one of the important match with their competitor he did not play as well as he can, while he gains his salary completely. Did he really justify that income? To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons and examples lead to conclusion that the professional athletes do not deserve that bulk of money, because they do not have the sufficient education, have the negative impacts on the productivity, and do not play decently every time.
As
some
people
may hold the view that the
professional
athletes
should earn a huge amount of
money
since they deserve that;
however
,
some
others take an opposite viewpoint and believe that the
athletes&
#039; high wages are unfair. I
personally
agree
with the second belief. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most outstanding
reasons
which persuade me to put forward this perspective.

The
first
exquisite
reason
which advocates my
idea
is that they are not well-educated. Most of the
masterly
sportsmen do not have the diploma of graduated education. They study
just
in the high schools and after that devoid the
big
portion of their times to the physical schooling.
On the other hand
, the
big
ratios of society who possess a
professional
occupation spend more than four years to gain the sufficient and appropriate base and knowledge for their tasks. In this unbalance condition, which
athletes
do not afford the required training system, the sportsmen earn more than those who spend the best and
important
span of their life for the education.
Hence
, it illustrates the unjust salary devotion.

The second
reason
is the
negative
effect of these promoted incomes in the society. As the
athletes
earn a huge amount of the
money
for their functions which do not have any productivity in the society, most of the young
people
are inclined
to participate in this kind of activities.
Thus
, it threats the
country&
#039; s
productivities
and financial income resources. According to the noteworthy and intelligible survey conducted in my
country
, approximately
sixty nine
percent of the
teenagers
at the high schools of Tehran are willing to become the
professional
athletes
.
Consequently
, it depicts the economic crisis which our
country
will face in the remote future
as a result
of deficient experts in the industrial fields.

The last
reason
which confirms the accuracy of my viewpoint is
sometimes
they do not do their job in the best way. As the
athletes
assign the contract the salaries and incomes
are guaranteed
. There are
no
any factors to blind their wage source. They gain the
money
either they win the match or not. In
some
situation, based upon their health or emotional problems they are not motivated to present their best function.
However
, they obtain that specific amount of
money
. A vivid example can be
given
to shed light on the subject is our
country&
#039; s star football player. In one of the
important
match with their competitor he did not play
as well
as he can, while he gains his salary completely. Did he
really
justify that income?

To wrap it up, all aforementioned
reasons
and examples lead to conclusion that the
professional
athletes
do not deserve that bulk of
money
,
because
they do not have the sufficient education, have the
negative
impacts on the productivity, and do not play
decently
every time.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Professional athletes, such as football and basketball player, do not deserve the high salaries that they are paid. v. 745

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
476 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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